IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries , afew people earn extremly high salaries. Some people think that is good for a country, while others believe that government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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The issue of extremely high
salaries
Use synonyms
 earned by a few individuals is a contentious topic.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think it benefits to country in terms of
taxes
Use synonyms
 and
encourging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
While
Linking Words
, others believe, excessive
salries
Correct your spelling
salaries
 should be capped by
governments
Use synonyms
 .Both
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 have valid points , and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss them before presenting my view. On the one hand , the central benefit of
earing
Correct your spelling
earning
show examples
 high wages is
substainal ecnomic
Correct your spelling
substantial economic
 prosperity for both the government and
society
Use synonyms
 as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
. The high amount of
salaries
Use synonyms
 led to high
taxes
Use synonyms
 for the
Governments
Use synonyms
 which eventually can be used for creating more job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and public services
such
Linking Words
 as education and healthcare.
In addition
Linking Words
, limited
salaries
Use synonyms
 can have a negative impact on the public.
For example
Linking Words
, being
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 professional or working in tech industries
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
tireless effort which should be rewarded by high
salaries
Use synonyms
 , low
salaries
Use synonyms
 of these professions can never motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to work hard
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 and
continuing
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
these jobs,
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in lowering the standard of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 and tech industry of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 nation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,excessive income
inquality
Correct your spelling
inequality
can have negative consequences. Critics argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it
widen
Correct subject-verb agreement
widens
show examples
 the gap between poor and rich
people
Use synonyms
 , leading to social unrest and
dissatisfacation
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
. When a small portion of
people
Use synonyms
 controls
disproportionate
Correct article usage
a disproportionate
show examples
 share of wealth, it can undermine social cohesion.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe ,
no
Correct word choice
that no
show examples
 individual's contribution
justifies
Wrong verb form
is justified
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 earning
hundreds
Add the preposition
hundreds of
show examples
 times more than
average
Add an article
the average
show examples
 worker,
governments
Use synonyms
 should restrict
salaries
Use synonyms
 and implement more
taxes
Use synonyms
 to ensure fairness
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
limiting
people
Use synonyms
's
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the growth of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 as no one will be willing to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work hard if there is
cap
Add an article
a cap
the cap
show examples
 on
salaries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, imposing high
taxes
Use synonyms
 on high earners is
viable
Add an article
a viable
show examples
 solution to ensure fair distribution of wealth among the public .
Although
Linking Words
 capping the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 is a solution to ensure fairness
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
discourage
Change the verb form
discourages
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
 intensive work ,which eventually
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Add an article
a
show examples
negative effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
society
Use synonyms
 and the standard of
governments
Use synonyms
 .To
justifies
Correct subject-verb agreement
justify
show examples
 the high
salaries
Use synonyms
,the government should impose more
taxes
Use synonyms
 on high wages and
ensures
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensure
show examples
that money should be used for social services.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each point flows well into the next. Use clear linking phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. For example, use connectors like 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast' where appropriate.
task achievement
Enhance task response by providing more specific examples that reinforce your points. Instead of general statements about high salaries, you could discuss specific countries or industries where this occurs.
task achievement
Clarify your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Reiterate your stance effectively to reinforce your view and provide a clear takeaway for the reader.
content
The essay addresses both views adequately, showcasing an understanding of different perspectives on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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