IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line charts demonstrate information about the rate of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 that had electrical devices,
such
Linking Words
 as washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 and how much time people spent on housework in a country in the period of time from 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, during
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 time, the
percenatge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
households
Use synonyms
 having electrical appliances increased,
while
Linking Words
 most people had refrigerators and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners rather than washing machines. The rise in the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appliances affected the number of hours that individuals spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing work in their household, particularly the considerable decrease
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
observed. To start, in 1920, 40% of
households
Use synonyms
 had washing machines which was the maximum in comparison with other appliances.
As a result
Linking Words
, the indicator did not experience
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rapid growth and the rate was equal to just a bit over
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
70%.  
In contrast
Linking Words
, sharp changes were seen in the amount of
households
Use synonyms
 that owned refrigerators and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners. No household had
refrigerator
Add an article
a refrigerator
the refrigerator
show examples
 in 1920,
however
Linking Words
, in the period of 40 years, the figure comprised 60%. In 1980, the rate reached 100% and remained stable for the following years. Whilst 30% of
households
Use synonyms
 had
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners in 1920, in 2000, the proportion made up 100% and did not change afterwards. Clearly, the number of hours of housework moderately declined, as in 1920, people the figure was 50, but after a noticeable dip, it constituted 20 in 1960. By 2019, the figure decreased twice and accounted for 10 hours per week.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vacuum, households with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership of electrical appliances
  • steadily increased
  • dramatically decreased
  • correlating the rise
  • became common
  • households
  • prevalence
  • technological advancements
  • increased affordability
  • household chores
  • labor-saving devices
  • allocated for housework
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