Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

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It is true in the present era, more and more teenagers believe doing
athletes
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play a crucial role in their lives.
By contrast
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, a few people indicate
this
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exercise is not beneficial for them. From my perspective, I strongly assert
this
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type of sport is essential to being more healthy.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay will explore both arguments for
this
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phenomenon, and follow my viewpoint, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, individuals concerned with sports generally play a vital role in their lifestyle. The key positive of
this
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trend is the health aspect. What is more, adults do
athletes
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approximately three times a week because of fitness. As a sequence, most younger people acquire physical and mental health.
Moreover
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, a study published at the University of Nizwa in 2016 showed students in
this
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administration had fitness, especially the boys
due to
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raising awareness in terms of lectures and workshops.
On the other hand
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, there are several points behind
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risk.
Firstly
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,
athletes
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are not beneficial for teenagers. To demonstrate more, the public argues for
this
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event and indicates
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sport is suitable for children only.
Additionally
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, certain movements are not comfortable for members.
Hence
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, a report by the UNESCO survey showed that 85% of youngsters tend to play football rather than
athletes
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or gymnastics. Lately, there are a variety of sports for adults not only
this
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skill to obtain health. In conclusion.I am convinced both arguments are true.
However
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, I totally agree athlete sports are beneficial for adults to keep the body strong and healthy. Another point worth mentioning is that the outcomes of
this
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trend are not limited to individuals only but
also
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have a profound impact on society. Ergo, the government should encourage young people to do several exercises in general
besides
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athletes
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due to
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having profits.
In addition
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,
this
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is a great opportunity to make friends.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments by providing clearer examples and explanations. Ensure each point is thoroughly explored to demonstrate your understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly to enhance the flow of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your introduction to clearly state both sides of the argument before stating your opinion, and ensure you frame your conclusion around key points made in your essay.
positives
You presented a clear opinion in the introduction, showing your understanding of the topic.
positives
Your essay contains relevant points that are worth discussing, showing that you engaged with the question.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
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