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Writing Samples
Band 6

The percentage of persons arrested in 1994 and the most recent reasons for arrest

#percentage #persons #arrest
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The pie chart shows the percentages of people who were arrested in 1994,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph illustrates the most common reasons for arrest during the same period. As a general trend, females were arrested less frequently than males.
In addition
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, public drinking accounted for the largest percentage,
while
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 theft had the lowest percentage compared to the other five reasons.
Firstly
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, only 9% of
women
Use synonyms
 were arrested,
whereas
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 32% of men were detained in 1994.
Secondly
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, regarding the bar graph, there was significant variation among the six causes of detention. Public drinking showed the highest percentages, reaching around 35% for
women
Use synonyms
 and 30% for men.
However
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, theft was the least common reason, with percentages of approximately 15% for both genders.
Finally
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, by 1999, men were detained more often than
women
Use synonyms
, with the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 being 91% lower.
Moreover
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, theft remained the least frequent reason compared to public drinking, where their proportions were approximately 35% and 20%, respectively.
Submitted by camilo.venegas.b on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific data or examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs flow smoothly; consider using linking words for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, helping establish a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and well-aligned with the data provided in the charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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