IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

5.There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In
modern
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the modern
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 world, there is a trend of employees and learners staying at home and doing their work and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 more and more since technologies
has
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have
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 been advanced and inexpensive. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is
negative
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a negative
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 development
because
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because of
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 the lack of interpersonal
relationship
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relationships
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 and the difficulty of reaching out for help.  The primary reason is that it will reduce the number of
face to face
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face-to-face
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interaction
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interactions
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, resulting in struggling to deal with real people. Nowadays, since everything we can do online,
such
Linking Words
 as
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 money and sending emails,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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individuals
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to face other humans.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel pressured to interact with colleagues or classmates as they have not been exposed to it enough.
For example
Linking Words
, recent
Correct your spelling
research
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
 has found that over 40% of high school students from South Korea responded that they
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to place an order through apps
instead
Linking Words
 of calling because of feeling uncomfortable caused by speaking with a staff member Another compelling reason that people should go to
physically
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physical
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work places
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workplaces
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 or schools is the high accessibility of aid. If university students need to ask questions in universities, there are many options available for us like professors or other undergraduates.
However
Linking Words
, in case you study at home, it would be a challenge to get
a
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an
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 answer immediately since they provide an email address or
an
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a
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 phone number that everyone can access
to
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apply
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, which is hard to get answered.
For example
Linking Words
, studies found that getting
answer
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answers
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 from online educational
plaforms
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platforms
platform
 takes more than 5 days. In conclusion, even though progressed devices bring us convenience and efficiency,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will make people have
a
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apply
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trouble
to socialize
Verb problem
socialising
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 with other humans and
seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
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 for assistance that they need.

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language
Ensure your thesis statement clearly expresses your main argument and is grammatically correct. For example, consider replacing 'this is negative development' with 'this is a negative development.'
cohesion
Make sure to provide clearer connections between your ideas; transitions between points could be strengthened to guide the reader more effectively. For instance, using transition phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could help in the flow of arguments.
task achievement
When presenting examples, ensure they are clearly linked back to your argument and illustrate the main points effectively. Providing specific details, like study citations, can enhance the quality of your examples.
task achievement
Good identification of main issues related to remote work and study, such as the lack of interpersonal relationships and accessibility of help.
task achievement
The essay reflects a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for addressing the task effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • virtual learning
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • cost-effective
  • geographical diversity
  • environmental sustainability
  • isolation
  • mental health
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