Some people believe that social media has a negative impact on personal relationships. Others think it has improved the way we connect with others. Discuss both view.

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While
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some
people
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think that personal relationships can be negatively affected by social
media
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, others believe that it helps
people
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stay connected.
This
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essay will discuss both views and give an opinion
why
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on why
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social
media
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is still relevant. Social
media
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has become a powerful tool that helps
people
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stay connected with others, regardless of distance. Unlike in the past,
people
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no longer need to be physically close to communicate. With social
media
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, they can easily stay in touch with loved ones through instant messaging and video calls.
For instance
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, platforms
such
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as Zoom, Google Meet, and FaceTime enable real-time conversations, making long-distance communication more convenient and accessible.
Therefore
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, social
media
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bridges the gap between
people
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by allowing them to communicate effortlessly, no matter how far apart they are.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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may have a negative impact on personal relationships. Nowadays,
people
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spend excessive time on their phones, engaging with social
media
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or consuming endless news feeds.
As a result
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, they interact less with those physically present around them.
However
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, social
media
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will not impact dramatically if users have an awareness of using and prioritize face-to-face
interatactions
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interactions
interaction
over virtual relationships. In conclusion,
although
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many believe that social
media
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benefits
people
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as an effective communication tool, enhancing communication experiences among
people
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, there are some drawbacks if users prioritize them over the ones that are physically around them.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more explicit opinion in the introduction to strengthen the argument and clearly indicate your stance on social media's impact on personal relationships.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly transitions to the next, using linking phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples in support of your arguments to enrich your ideas. For instance, you could mention studies linking social media use with increased loneliness or provide examples of social media influencing real-world relationships.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before providing a conclusion, which is a strong aspect of your writing.
task achievement
Use of real-world examples like Zoom and FaceTime effectively demonstrates the positives of social media, enhancing your point about keeping connections alive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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