IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Student should pay the full cost for their study because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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It is true in the present era, more and more
people
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 are considering that the tuition fee in academic universities is endorsed by Student individuals rather than society. From my perspective point ,I totally disagree with
this
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 view .
Hence
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,
this
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 essay will delve into the phenomenon,by supporting relevant examples and insights . On the one hand, currently,
education
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 is one of the basic things in our life and it is a human right that everyone needs.
Firstly
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 ,if the cost of the
study
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 is paid only for the person, many adults are deprived of
education
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 .To illustrate more, many
people
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 may be excluded from the
study
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due to
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 a lack of financial support for the
study
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.
Moreover
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, a
study
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 published at the University of Nizwa in 2020 showed that 85% of students had social security and their parents had job seekers.
Thus
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,
this
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 leads to a huge gap between rich and poor
people
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 in the chances of
education
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.
On the other hand
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, the advancement of
education
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 is a far-term investment not only for individuals but it can
also
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 influence society .To demonstrate more,if governments and institutions carry carried some part of financial studies ,it assists in improving the workforce .A prime illustration of
this
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 is that many teenagers have graduated with high levels of skills and contribute to the expansion the various of industrial notional economic development in the world .The Omani Educational Association indicated some low-income citizens have high efficiency which enables them to establish business buildings in Oman.As a sequence, the national economy will improve. In conclusion,I am strongly persuaded that if individuals carry the all-fee university academic it will be to lead inequality of
education
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 opportunities for their citizens
However
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, the outcomes are not limited to
people
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 only but have a profound impact on the community.
Therefore
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, the government should help students to complete their pursuits with financial assistance and achieve their dreams in life .

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next, ensuring clarity for the reader.
task achievement
In your introduction, consider providing a clearer thesis statement that directly outlines your stance on the issue. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make use of more specific examples and data to support your points. For instance, citing the impact on the economy with specific statistics could greatly strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic from the outset, which is essential for task achievement. Your disagreement with the statement is well established in your introduction.
task achievement
You have attempted to include relevant examples and insights, showing a willingness to engage with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • societal benefits
  • community engagement
  • public healthcare costs
  • social innovation
  • equality and access
  • social stratification
  • incentive for public funding
  • state investment
  • national progress
  • educated populace
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