In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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There is a belief that

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

without cash via applications on

Use synonyms

phone

Correct article usage

the phone

show examples

is more common these days. From my point of view, I generally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement

however

Linking Words

, there are some drawbacks that we should take into consideration. There are some advantages to

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

online.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the majority of people

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

their phones

where ever

Correct your spelling

wherever

show examples

they go. So, it is convenient to pay via

phone

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

it might not possible to bring money for different reasons

such

Linking Words

as insufficient time to get money from

ATM

Correct article usage

an ATM

show examples

. More to add, it is much safer not to carry cash. In

online

Correct article usage

the online

show examples

method, only the owner of

Add an article

the

show examples

account can access payment. There are some disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

kind of payment,

Firstly

Linking Words

, depending on technology might cause some problems.

For example

Linking Words

, someone might forget their

phone

Use synonyms

or even their

phone

Use synonyms

is shut down because of no electricity charge, so could not buy their needs.

secondly

Linking Words

, I've mentioned

safety

Add an article

the safety

show examples

of using online methods

although

Linking Words

, if we don't care

Change preposition

about

show examples

the

applications

Change noun form

application's

applications'

show examples

privacy and download them from

a unknown sources

Correct the article-noun agreement

unknown sources

an unknown source

show examples

, online hackers invade our privacy

inwhich

Correct your spelling

in which

Correct pronoun usage

which increased

show examples

increased

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

financial vulnerability.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I agree that

technology

Correct article usage

the technology

show examples

of online payment is growing rapidly and the positive feedback on

this

Linking Words

method

outweigh

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweighs

show examples

the drawbacks.

Amirhossein Wed Feb 26 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents the topic clearly, but it could be more engaging. Try to rephrase your thesis statement to convey your position more assertively. Additionally, a brief outline of the main points could help guide the reader.

coherence and cohesion

In your body paragraphs, clearer topic sentences could help to clearly delineate your advantages and disadvantages. You can also use linking phrases to better connect your ideas and ensure a smoother flow.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to avoid informal phrases like 'I’ve mentioned'. Keep a consistent formal tone throughout your essay.

coherence and cohesion

There are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing, such as 'pay without cash' and 'for different reasons such as insufficient time to get money from ATM.' Proofreading your work for grammatical accuracy can enhance the clarity of your ideas.

task achievement

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payments, which fulfills the assignment's requirements.

task achievement

Some good points regarding security and convenience are raised, indicating an understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
safety
security
time-saving
cashless transactions
dependence on technology
privacy concerns
accessibility issues
financial vulnerability

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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Word Count

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Your town council has decided to demolish an historic building due to lack of funds to renovate. Write a letter to your counselor . In your letter, you should say: why it is important to preserve the historic building how the funds could be generated.