IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Human
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Humans
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 can be influenced by
numeroues
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numerous
 factors
such
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 as their beliefs, religious factors and most significantly
acedamic
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academic
 background
therefore
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, it is always argued that
teachers
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 can
cause
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have
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 a great impact on fresh
student
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’s social and cognitive development. I strongly disagree with that
preception
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perception
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due to
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primary
Add an article
the primary
a primary
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student
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students
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 only
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
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 little
time
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on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
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.
Additionally
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, they are more attached to their
collegues
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colleagues
in
Change preposition
during
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
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 hours.
This
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 essay will discuss these
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reason
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reasons
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 in detail to support my opinion. First and foremost, freshers only be in
school
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 for a limited period of
time
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as a result
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, they live with their parents
in
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for
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 the majority of their
time
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. Since they are observing their
parents
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parent's
parents'
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 behaviour most of the
time
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 eventually, they will be the
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
hero
on
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in
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 a child’s life. To illustrate
this
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further
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,
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
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 study
of
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by
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 Children Society
revelas
Correct your spelling
reveals
 that children are more likely
tend
Verb problem
apply
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to act
according to
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 the person they spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
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.
Change preposition
with.
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 To prove
this
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 phenomenon they conducted an experiment by allowing
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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 to be with their
teachers
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. By doing so, the
probabilty
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probability
 of
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student
Add an article
the student
a student
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 to
obay
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obey
 the
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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which
Correct word choice
that
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teachers
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given
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gave
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 was
noticably
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noticeably
 risen and the report
further
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mention
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mentions
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 that the probability numbers changed from 25% to 60%.
This
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highlight
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highlights
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 the fact that the significance of the
time
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 that are grown up can
make
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have
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 on
childern’s
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children’s
 life.
Furthermore
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,
although
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 they have limited
time
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 to be in
school
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, new incomers prefer to associate with their friends
than
Rephrase
rather than
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teachers
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. The vital
reason
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 for
that is
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 since they are
in
Change preposition
of
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 the same age, they share a common
intrest
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interest
. For
an
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apply
show examples
instance,
a
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apply
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research conducted by the UK Government Educational Ministry
cite
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cites
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 that on their website pupils make their trends among
themsleves
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themselves
 and the adaptation to those
trend
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trends
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 from
forign
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foreign
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 is increadibly high for that
reason
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 the site
further
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 noticed that it
one
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is one
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 of
a
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the
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 major
reason
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 behind
student
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 are motivated to be present at
school
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 daily.
Thus
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, their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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 play a leading role
on
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in
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 a child’s social development. In conclusion, I believe that
teachers
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 have a minor impact on little students not only because they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
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at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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, but
also
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,
they
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because they
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 prefer to be with their friends
while
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 they are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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 all parents, have a great responsibility on their children in order to create a bright and
enlighting
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enlightening
show examples
 tomorrow.

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task response
Your introduction outlines your position but could be clearer. Consider rephrasing it to make your stance more prominent. For example, you could say, 'While some argue that teachers greatly influence children's development, I believe that their impact is limited.'
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical errors and spelling, as these can distract from your ideas. Proofreading your work can help catch these issues before submission. For example, correct 'numeroues' to 'numerous' and 'acedamic' to 'academic'.
coherence and cohesion
The transitions between ideas can be improved to enhance the flow of your essay. Use linking phrases such as 'On the other hand,' or 'In addition,' to guide the reader through your arguments.
task response
Your essay presents a clear opinion which is supported by a structured argument, showcasing your ability to develop a position.
task response
You provided relevant examples to support your claims, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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