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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity (those teaching programs that involve the use of written materials, videos, televised lessons and the Internet), but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Distance learning programs have gained popularity and many people prefer it.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some individuals claim that attending
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 classes is more beneficial. I agree with the latter view and my reasons will be explained below. There are many reasons why attending in
person
Use synonyms
 is more useful.
Firstly
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, a student will be more concentrated if a teacher is teaching them. Teachers can make even a boring subject interesting. There are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 chances of getting distracted.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 there are many subjects which can only be taught in
person
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, experiments
of
Change preposition
in
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 physics and chemistry are to be done in a lab with the help of step-by-step instructions given by the teacher. It is impossible to do
this
Linking Words
 in the virtual classes.
Secondly
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, students can clear their doubts right away. In a class full of children everyone will ask questions and
this
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 way everyone will be curious and listen to it attentively. A
person
Use synonyms
 will get more clarity on difficult topics and it is easy to comprehend if a professor is explaining rather than a computer.
On the other hand
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, many individuals feel that online learning options have opened doors for many children. One can sit in any corner of the world and still get
education
Add an article
an education
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.
Furthermore
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, there are many students who are physically disabled so it is easier for them to opt for distance learning options.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 there are many benefits of learning online,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe that
face-to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 classes are more advantageous for students to learn effectively.

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your introduction by clearly outlining your thesis statement. This will help guide the reader more effectively on your stance.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, aim to develop your main points further with additional examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, showing your stance on the effectiveness of in-person learning versus distance learning.
task achievement
You have provided good points on the advantages of in-person learning, particularly in relation to concentration and immediate clarification of doubts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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