IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What is the disadvantage of being self-employee?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, money plays a crucial role in
everyday's
Change noun form
everyday
show examples
 life, and it's
Correct your spelling
commonly
comonly
Correct your spelling
commonly
 seen that nowadays people do not like to
work
Use synonyms
 as
Add an article
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, they like to
work
Use synonyms
 as
self
Add an article
a self
show examples
 employee
Its
Correct your spelling
It is
show examples
 true that many big companies are trying to put pressure on their employees, so that they can
work
Use synonyms
 effectively and
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 more production to their companies,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 people do not like to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure, so they choose to
work
Use synonyms
 as
self-employee
Fix the agreement mistake
self-employees
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in coal factories or in wood framing for homes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Less profit is
also
Linking Words
 considered by some people behind
this
Linking Words
 trend. as it's been observed that
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 companies earn three times more profit,
comparetively
Correct your spelling
compared
 to their workers. so individuals choose to be
self employee
Correct your spelling
self-employed
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. A strong introduction sets the tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples that relate directly to self-employment rather than referencing industries without connecting them to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling, as small inaccuracies can distract from your message. For instance, 'self-employee' should be 'self-employed' and 'everyday's life' can be reformulated as 'everyday life'.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic of self-employment and provides relevant reasons for this trend, showing an understanding of the subject matter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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