IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others says that it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
quality
Use synonyms
 and prestige of a good educational establishment is
due to
Linking Words
 various factors, some people point to teaching
quality
Use synonyms
 as the most important,
while
Linking Words
 others point to the infrastructure and
equipment
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 short essay, I will discuss the importance of these two points and give a critical opinion
according to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 I consider to be of greater relevance. On the one hand, the importance of having a well-equipped
school
Use synonyms
 is undeniable, since it facilitates student learning using technological tools
such
Linking Words
 as computers, projectors, teaching spaces, etc.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investing in qualified and experienced
teachers
Use synonyms
 is essential since they are the primary source of learning, they motivate
students
Use synonyms
 to learn and become interested in their subject. Now, in the rankings that evaluate and highlight educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, the first indicator will always be the
quality
Use synonyms
 of teaching, and
this
Linking Words
 is, of course, thanks to the
teachers
Use synonyms
. No student will take advantage of their
school
Use synonyms
's resources and
equipment
Use synonyms
 if they are not first motivated to learn. We could say that an investment in
equipment
Use synonyms
 would be reasonable only if the
school
Use synonyms
 already has
quality
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
, since without them the
students
Use synonyms
 would not take advantage of the other tools. In closing, I can say that schools should have educated
teachers
Use synonyms
 and optimal infrastructure to bring out the greatest potential in their
students
Use synonyms
, but if we had to invest in one of them, without a doubt I would choose to hire better
teachers
Use synonyms
, since they are ultimately the ones who
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 knowledge in their
students
Use synonyms
 and the
school
Use synonyms
 is for learning, ideally with the help of spaces and
equipment
Use synonyms
 that facilitate it, but which are not essential.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your introduction, consider clarifying your thesis statement to make it more specific about your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph consistently supports your main point with relevant examples and explanations. Some examples could be elaborated further to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Although you have organized your ideas well, try to use more transitional phrases to improve the flow from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion could be strengthened by briefly summarizing the key points made in the essay before stating your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The language used is generally clear and appropriate for the topic, showcasing good vocabulary and sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • state-of-the-art technology
  • learning experiences
  • technologically driven future
  • educational infrastructure
  • physical and digital resources
  • high-quality education
  • experienced teachers
  • tailor learning approaches
  • personalized feedback
  • superior teaching staff
  • academic performance
  • optimal learning environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: