IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that we should divide students based on their academic ability, while others think we should educate all students together. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Some individuals believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be categorised based on their mental
faculty
Replace the word
faculties
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that all the pupils should be provided with the same facilities. I am convinced that it is the
govements'
Correct your spelling
government's
 responsibility to deliver the same service to all people in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Those who
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view that
students
Use synonyms
 should receive different levels of education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that children may learn faster or lower based on their learning ability. In
this
Linking Words
 case, teachers need to set their teaching style based on either
low- learning
Correct your spelling
low-learning
show examples
 or fast-learning
students
Use synonyms
. So, either the time of
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 smarter group will be wasted or the other group will
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
not learn the topics in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we will witness a future generation with less capability. The opponents of
this
Linking Words
 view, believe national investments should be allocated to all individuals in a community in the same way.
In other words
Linking Words
, they argue that it is
all
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
individuals'
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 right to get the same service as other guys regardless of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 IQ or other birth-related features. It implying with equity. In my opinion, in today's society equity is a critical context in having a successful community. So,
decisions
Change the noun form
decision
show examples
 makers
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to do their best to meet
this
Linking Words
 public demand and expectation in various fields including education services. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some people prefer a different level
schools
Change preposition
of schools
show examples
 assigned to
students
Use synonyms
 with various abilities, there are a group of people who
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 the idea of presenting
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 educational services to all pupils. I strongly believe
students
Use synonyms
 must receive
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 teaching styles.

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task achievement
Clarify and strengthen your position in the introduction and conclusion. Make sure your opinion is clearly stated, as this will help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by clearly linking points and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support your arguments. Specific examples can enhance your points effectively.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay covers the required length and contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is important for structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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