IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many advocate that open sharing of information is a positive action in scientific
research
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, business and academic fields.
Conversely
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, others believe in confidentiality. From my perspective, both of these viewpoints are totally acceptable in different areas which will be discussed in
this
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 essay.
First
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 and foremost, medical and health fields are the
first
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 areas where
research
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 and findings must be shared freely.
Although
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 some raw
research
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data
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 without specific conclusions can be misused and there may be a financial loss to the main researchers, scientists and professional forces must take responsibility for humanity
first
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 and adopt an open culture among each other to cure diseases and overcome human health issues.
For example
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, in
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 global pandemic, if developed countries never shared the COVID-19 vaccine
data
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 and findings with developing countries, the majority of the world's population could not have survived that disaster in that limited time. On the flip side, some governmental, national and business
data
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 must be definitely protected and not shared.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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 researchers
in particular
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 university fields
such
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 as law departments or people in areas eminently related to politics are obliged to sign a contract to protect sensitive
data
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 at any cost.
For instance
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, nuclear chemists who have
data
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 and paperwork related to infrastructures of nuclear weapons to protect their country are always under supervision to ensure keeping these military
data
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 confidential. In conclusion, I believe implementing an open sharing of medical
research
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data
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 is essential to serve humanity and not put financial benefit in
first
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 order.
Nevertheless
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, national and political information should be reserved in order to protect the country and help maintain its military strengths.

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task achievement
Expand on your points further to enhance the depth of discussion. For example, discuss how sharing information can benefit scientific collaborations across countries.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs clearly flow into one another. Using transitional phrases could improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to explicitly state your opinion in the introduction and potentially reinforce it in the conclusion. This will clarify your viewpoint to the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively and provides examples to support arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Clear organization of paragraphs with distinct ideas presented in each, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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