IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities, and only the government can solve these problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Housing
shortages
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 in cities lead to serious social consequences,
such
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 as increased homelessness, overcrowding, and rising property prices. Some argue that only the
government
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 has the ability to address these issues effectively.
While
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government
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 intervention is crucial, I believe that a collaborative approach involving both public and private sectors is necessary to fully resolve housing
problems
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. One of the major social consequences of housing
shortages
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 is homelessness. When affordable housing is scarce, lower-income individuals and families are often unable to secure a place to live, leading to a rise in homelessness.
This
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 issue can contribute to higher crime rates, mental health
problems
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, and social unrest.
Additionally
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, overcrowding in cities forces many people to live in substandard conditions, which negatively affects their well-being and quality of life. The rising cost of housing
also
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 creates economic inequality, as lower-income groups struggle to afford decent accommodation
while
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 wealthier individuals continue to invest in high-priced properties. The
government
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 plays a vital role in tackling these
problems
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 by implementing policies that promote affordable housing. By providing subsidies for low-income households, enforcing rent control regulations, and investing in public housing projects, authorities can help mitigate the effects of housing
shortages
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.
Furthermore
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, governments can reform zoning laws and allocate more land for residential use to encourage housing development.
However
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, relying solely on
government
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 intervention may not be sufficient. Private sector participation is essential to increasing the supply of affordable homes. Governments should incentivize private developers to build cost-effective housing through tax breaks, reduced bureaucracy, and public-private partnerships. Non-governmental organizations and community-driven initiatives can
also
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 contribute by supporting housing projects for disadvantaged groups. In conclusion,
while
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 the
government
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 has a significant responsibility in addressing housing
shortages
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, it cannot solve these
problems
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 alone. A collaborative effort involving private sector investment, community participation, and policy reforms is essential to ensuring sustainable and affordable housing for urban populations.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states your main argument, you could enhance it by briefly mentioning the role of the private sector in tackling housing shortages to provide a more comprehensive overview right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a counterargument to strengthen your essay. Discussing an opposing viewpoint (e.g., some believe that government action is sufficient) before refuting it can add depth and complexity to your argument.
task achievement
You have good examples; however, try to elaborate on how specific policies, like rent control or subsidies, have directly impacted communities to make your points more tangible and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the important social consequences of housing shortages, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic and its implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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