IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space explorations costs tax payers an extra orbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space explorations?

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Nowadays, some governments are trying to increase their taxes in order to explore the galaxy for
further
Linking Words
 research.
However
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, it is argued whether the positives of
this
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 investment outweigh the negatives or not.
This
Linking Words
 essay will state all the points.
Firstly
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, knowing what is happening in the solar system can protect the world from many dangers.
In other words
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, because of the gravitational force, meteorites could lead to severe
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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 to the Earth,
nevertheless
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, if we have the perfect
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 to break these rocks, it may help us to prevent the danger
of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
this
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 could only be achieved by increasing the investments in space science. Another point to consider is the danger of the ultraviolet radiation produced by the sun.
For instance
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,
due to
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 climate change and how the media took a huge part of it, people now realise the effects of it on the ozone layer which causes them to pay more for astronomers in order to fix
this
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 issue.
Secondly
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, fixing the world's problems is more important than paying for the unknown. To illustrate, our planet is facing a significant amount of problems that governments should try to find a solution for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
such
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 as the type of fuel
that is
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 being consumed or securing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear power within the wrong hands.
For example
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, dealing with the disaster of
Chernobyl
Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
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 is more important than building a spacecraft.
In addition
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, people who suffer from financial problems, could not stand for the payment and even if they can, there are more important payments like health insurance or education. In conclusion, having the knowledge of what is happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outer space is important, but people should not be forced to pay extra on their taxes.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents the essay's main focus. However, it might include a more specific thesis statement outlining the main points that will be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the structure is generally logical, the transition between points could be improved for better flow. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Some examples provided are relevant, but they could be more specific or detailed to strengthen the arguments. For instance, elaborate on how certain investments in space research have directly benefitted life on Earth.
Coherence and Cohesion
In addition to capitalizing on the arguments presented, consider addressing counterarguments to strengthen the overall perspective and show a balanced view on the topic.
Content
You effectively outline the importance of space exploration and its potential benefits, particularly in relation to protecting Earth from dangers.
Structure
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and reiterates the stance taken throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • technological innovations
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • economic stimulus
  • international cooperation
  • financial investment
  • allocation of resources
  • environmental impact
  • ethical considerations
  • high-risk ventures
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