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Band 6.5

A college asked its graduates to give a speech to current students about their professional careers and future opportunities. You would like to participate. Write a letter and say What do you want to talk about? Why do you think students will be interested in it? Suggest a suitable date and time for your speech?

#college #graduates #speech #students #careers #future #opportunities #date #time
Dear Sir, Greetings of the Day! I am writing to inform you that I am willing a give a speech to current students about my professional career and its future opportunities. At the onset, let me brief the details of my speech, as I graduated from the Department of Agriculture of the University of Guelph and I am currently working as a Farm Supervisor in one of the most prestigious indoor vertical hydroponic farms in Canada. I want to represent the pathways in order to enter high-tech indoor agriculture.
Also
, I will shed light on the skill development, and the advantages of soil-less farming, so that undergraduates can prepare themselves to enter the professional field.
Furthermore
, let me explain the reason for students' interest, the students will receive exposure to greenhouses and the soil-free under-roof f arming industry. Not only
this
, they will
also
 learn about the career barriers and the ideal ways to hunt a placement in the job market.
Moreover
, I would like to suggest a suitable date and time for my speech, because my job is from Wednesday to Sunday, so I am available on any Monday and Tuesday. I
also
 request you to provide me with a projector and a proper internet connection in order to connect my laptop for the presentation. Please provide me confirmation details of the date and time through my given email. I would be grateful to you for allowing me to represent you as an alumni. I will look forward to your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Ama Karlo
Submitted by harjotkaur0201 on

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writing style
Consider using varied sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your letter.
coherence
To further improve coherence, ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical, guiding the reader seamlessly through your points.
content depth
While your topic is intriguing, elaborating more on how your speech directly benefits students' career prospects could provide a more compelling argument for the importance of your presentation.
structure
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear beginning, detailed main body, and courteous conclusion, effectively engaging the reader.
tone and enthusiasm
You effectively conveyed your willingness and enthusiasm to share valuable professional insights, which enhances the persuasive appeal of your letter.
topic relevance
You have clearly identified a relevant and interesting topic for the current students, aligning well with their academic and future professional interests.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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