IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to do most of their shopping online. This has both positive and negative effects for individuals, businesses and society. Are there more advantages or more disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the modern world, online shopping has widespread around the globe owing to
the
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apply
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technological advancement. To a great extent, I believe that
this
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 trend has far more benefits than
the
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drawbacks, namely, accessibility and convenience.
This
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 essay will discuss more about
this
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 topic and demonstrate my viewpoint with a logical narration.
To begin
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 with, one of the key factors that helped in
increase
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the increase
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 of online shopping is
the
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apply
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convenience. The e-commerce offered
unparallel
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unparalleled
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 convenient options to the customers across the community regardless of any bias.
Nonetheless
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,
this
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 system allowed people to make purchases from anywhere at any time, saving time and effort.
For example
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, through Amazon, one of the popular digital shopping platforms, individuals can enjoy shopping even in the middle of the night.
Furethermore
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Furthermore
,
the
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online shopping platforms offer
wider
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a wider
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 range of products and provide easy comparisons, enabling buyers to find the best deals out there.
In addition
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, it
also
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 supports the people living in remote areas to access products that cannot find locally.
On the other hand
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, the easy accessibility and constant exposure can
results
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result
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 in impulse buying.
Nevertheless
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, nowadays, the number of online scams reported
are
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is
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 inflated. In these situations, the customers fall victim to false and defective products. I recall a shopping experience I had recently via
virutal
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virtual
 shopping, where I tried
purchase
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to purchase
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 a dress from an obscure website and got scammed by
recieving
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receiving
inferior
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an inferior
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 product.
Therefore
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, people need to be extra
carefull
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careful
while
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 they are shopping digitally.
Moreover
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, the rise of e-commerce
amplyfies
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amplifies
simplifies
the
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environment
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environmental
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 concerns, because of
increase
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the increase
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 in
packagings
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packaging
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 and
transporations
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transportations
transportation
. In conclusion, the widespread attainability of virtual shopping experience
posses
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possesses
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 the most
favorble
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favourable
 position in
this
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 debate. Considering, convenience, variety and
lot
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a lot
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 more
advanatges
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advantages
advantageous
e-commerce
do
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does
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outweighs
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outweigh
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 the
disadvanatges
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disadvantages
.
However
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, an unbalanced approach to the trend can damage
the
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society's well-being
in
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on
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individual
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an individual
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 and
societial
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social
level
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levels
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,
thus
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a
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apply
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more
disiciplined
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disciplined
 digital purchases can help to maintain a sustainable environment for the future.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, to enhance task achievement, ensure that all points made are fully developed with detailed explanations. For example, elaborate more on the disadvantages.
coherence
Improve transition statements between paragraphs and enhance the logical flow of ideas. This aids the reader in following your arguments more smoothly. Connecting phrases can strengthen coherence.
coherence
Ensure accurate spelling and usage of terms (e.g., 'unparalleled' instead of 'unparallel', 'careful' instead of 'carefull'). Small grammatical improvements can enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the advantages outweighing the disadvantages, which is a strong, cohesive approach to the argument.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the Amazon experience, adds credibility to your argument, helping the reader relate to your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumerism
  • Digital literacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Sustainability
  • Global marketplace
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • Carbon footprint
  • Brick-and-mortar
What to do next:
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