Opinion essay questions: “prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

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Targetting
Correct your spelling
Targeting
to avoid
diseaes
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
is much better than
treat
Wrong verb form
treating
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them
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
treating
diseases
Use synonyms
is expensive
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then
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than
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investing in preventive
medicine
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.
This
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essays
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essay
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totally agrees
in
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with
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preventing
Replace the word
prevention
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measures because the vast
mojority
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majority
of
diseases
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are preventible and
people
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lose their balance in life when they are sick. One
fo
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of
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the reasons is that preventive
medicine
Use synonyms
is more effective
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then
Replace the word
than
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treating
diseases
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to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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people
Use synonyms
suffering
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from suffering
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from chronic
diseases
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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many of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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are not curable.
Also
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, preventive
medicine
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is less costly
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then
Replace the word
than
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treating them because
people
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stop working when they get sick. More importantly, they lose family balance and the whole family
suffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
show examples
.
For instance
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, if a father
got
Wrong verb form
gets
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sick
then
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the economic aspect is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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affected because
ther
Correct your spelling
there
is no money to pay daily expenses and the whole family
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
mental pressure. Another aspect is that The United States has billions of
dollar
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dollars
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to pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
preventive
medicine
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and
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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their citizens suffer from chronic
diseases
Use synonyms
such
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as Diabetes Mellitus.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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this
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, spending money on preventive
medice
Correct your spelling
medicine
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
less than building hospitals because electronic devices to make diagnoses need to be
opearted
Correct your spelling
operated
by other specialists.
Also
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, educating society is a great way to prevent them
to get
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
sick.
For example
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,
araise
Correct your spelling
raise
arise
awareness of the importance
to be
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of being
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healthy
by
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through
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radio campaigns, so
people
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might start thinking
on
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about
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making healthier choices in life.
To conclude
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, it is better to invest money in preventive
medicine
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than cure
people
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because education and prevention
is
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are
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less expensive than building hospitals and hiring doctors for the whole society,
and
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apply
show examples
,
therefore
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, I believe I totally agree that prevention comes first
then
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treatment.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the clarity and structure of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea, supported by evidence and examples.
Language
Use varied vocabulary and check for grammar and spelling errors, as these can affect readability and understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your topic sentences to clearly indicate what each paragraph will discuss, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, demonstrating your agreement with the idea that prevention is better than cure.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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