Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. other, However, believe that school is the people to learn this. Discuss both views and giver your opinion.

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Certain individuals believe that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the ones
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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responsible
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children how to behave socially,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others deem that the education system is in charge of helping young people learn social morality, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
Add a comma
essay,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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we will be analyzing both of these claims. The main role model in a child's life is their mother or father, as they play a crucial role in a child's early development, instilling values,
morals
Correct word choice
and morals

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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, and by setting
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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examples
Correct the article-noun agreement
example

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun examples in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of good behaviour and respect for others, they can teach their kids empathy,
kindess
Correct your spelling
kindness

If you don’t want kindess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, and social responsibility through direct interactions and experiences within the family unit, the way a child acts speaks for how their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

raised them most of the time, but
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is not always the case,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
instance,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for instance. Consider adding a comma.

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there was a classmate of mine who had the rudest behaviour,
therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not many like her,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

when we met her mother she was the opposite of her daughter, why is that?
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

brings me to the second part of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

debate, for 12 years in our lives we spend an average of 6 hours in school,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it has a large impact on building our personality, most schools provide a structured
Correct your spelling
environment
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment

If you don’t want enviorment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

where young kids can learn social skills through diverse interactions with their peers and teachers, resulting to building teamwork, cooperation, and negotiation skills mainly with group projects and activities, some schools provide programs designed to promote civic responsibility,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as community service which help students understand societal roles, the issue is with friends, as some may help construct you to be a better person
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others will do the opposite, which is why in my perspective I think that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should keep track of their
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's

It appears that the word childs should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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friends and meet their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, both
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and educators are considered to be key elements in teaching young adults to be good members of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society, and they are both to be held accountable on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

matter.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating your opinion in a more definitive manner. Also, ensure that the phrase ‘the people to learn this’ is corrected for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on ensuring better paragraph structure. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and includes supporting details that flow logically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed and restating your opinion more clearly.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is good for discussing opinions.
Task Achievement
Your use of personal anecdotes adds interest to the discussion and helps illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instill values
  • social responsibility
  • empathy
  • kindness
  • structured environment
  • civic responsibility
  • collaboration
  • constructive members
  • perspectives
  • mediator
What to do next:
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