IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all University students should study whatever they like. Others belive that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss these both view and give your own opinion.

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A lot of people
belives
Verb problem
believe
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 that
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who finish high
school
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 choose whatever
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
major they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 without any
pressure
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 . On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people think the best
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
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 is to continue
study
Use synonyms
 in
science
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 and
technology
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 . In my opinion,
student
Use synonyms
 needs to have the freedom to choose which major want to select
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will be more creative ,
will
Correct pronoun usage
which will
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 reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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burnout and depression. After finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
school
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, students should have the freedom to choose which major they want to continue studying
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, they will become more creative in their work
future
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 .
for example
Linking Words
 ,
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student
Add an article
a student
the student
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 who likes drawing it is best for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to join
artist
Correct article usage
an artist
show examples
 major and be more creative
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it . Another reason for
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to choose what they
study
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 is the best for them,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 it will reduce the
pressure
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 on them which will lead to burnout and depression. Studying
subject
Add an article
a subject
show examples
 you do not like
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 passionate about it because of your
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
 or
friends
Change noun form
friends'
friend's
show examples
 advice will prevent you from
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoying
school
Use synonyms
 days and
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 marks
due to
Linking Words
 that
pressure
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. Studying
science
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 and
technology
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 is the new
future
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 some parents and
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
belives
Verb problem
believe
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that. increase
demends
Correct your spelling
demands
depends
 on
science
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 like
medicen
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and nursing leads to high income and easy to get a job offer after
school
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 .
For instance
Linking Words
 , during corona in 2019 , a lot of
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 jobs for doctors and nurses.
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
technology
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 is helping in many aspects, in research we can use AI,
while
Linking Words
 in medicine surgeries done by
repots
Correct your spelling
reports
show examples
. Despite the fact that
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 in these two
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 and get
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
easely
Correct your spelling
easily
, I believe that
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 what you like to be in
future
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 is the best for
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 mental health. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
 to continue in
technology
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 and
science
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 may earn a lot of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 and
Add a missing verb
have alot
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of work options
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 for them , but the
student
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 who
select
Change the verb form
selects
show examples
 major they love and
passionate
Add a missing verb
are passionate
show examples
 about it will be more creative in their
future
Use synonyms
 work with
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 mental
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
, so that will reduce
future
Use synonyms
 burnout or depression. The
student
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 must have the freedom to choose their major
study
Use synonyms
 without any
pressure
Use synonyms
.

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Language
Try to focus on proper punctuation and grammar. For example, ensure subject-verb agreement and avoid run-on sentences. This will enhance clarity.
Content
Make sure to develop your ideas further. Providing more detailed explanations and examples will strengthen your arguments.
Structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and your opinion distinctly. This can improve your task response score.
Content
The essay presents a clear opinion which is well-stated in the introduction and conclusion.
Content
Use of examples, like the demand for medical professionals during the pandemic, adds relevance to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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