IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the household tasks equally. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more
women
Use synonyms
 have full-time jobs as men, which has led to many people having a discussion on the household duties that should be responded
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 Some think that both of them should share these tasks equally,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
women
Use synonyms
 have to do them because men have more job responsibilities. I would like to say that I totally agree with the statement above and will describe the reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is obvious that everyone has a full-time job and career activity. Each person has different strengths and weaknesses, which can improve that
women
Use synonyms
 have potential to work.
According to
Linking Words
 the average finished work time is around 6.00 pm, it is impossible for
women
Use synonyms
 to collect all household duties,
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning, cooking, washing, or ironing, alone within sleep time.
Besides
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 ruins their mental health and causes relationship problems in the future. To be fair to
women
Use synonyms
, sharing tasks should be one available option that helps reduce these issues. It helps to create a balanced relationship,
also
Linking Words
 reduces stress and makes family life better for everyone.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when they take part in each chore, equal sharing of chores shows their teamwork, which gains the strength of the relationship, builds mutual respect, and can be done more efficiently. In conclusion, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, with these arguments, like family problems, or negative mental effects, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and share that housekeeping work is a beneficial way to interact with.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and easy to follow. Add more detail to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words like 'first', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to back up your arguments, it helps to strengthen your points.
content
You have a clear opinion and stance on the topic, which is very good.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps give structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equally
  • household tasks
  • jobs
  • women
  • men
  • share
  • relationship
  • teamwork
  • chores
  • balance
  • education
  • skilled
  • contribute
  • stress
  • partners
  • strengths
  • weaknesses
  • respect
  • efficiently
  • fair division
  • mutual appreciate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: