IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

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Technology
Use synonyms
 simplification has enhanced life experiences. I totally agree with
this
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 statement because
people
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 are now able to find useful
information
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 easily and have more
time
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 for meaningful activities by installing home automation. Essential
information
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 and research are more likely to be found because of advancements in
technology
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. Individuals are keen to apply many tips and tricks that help their life better
such
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 as healthier habits, productivity hacks, and money-saving techniques. Because plenty of useful
information
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 is available on the internet and many search engines are effective,
people
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 can easily search for
information
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 they are curious about, which results directly in improving their quality of life.
For example
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, there are more than one million
people
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 listening to podcasts providing healthy diet plans and watching YouTube channels that talk about boosting work productivity.
Hence
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, the more easily
technology
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 is used, the more opportunities
people
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 can access to life-improving techniques. Home automation systems
also
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 help men and women do housework which benefits for
time
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 saving so
people
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 have more
time
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 to do meaningful activities
such
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 as connecting with friends, doing workouts, and reading books.
Although
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 automating tasks was too complicated in the past, it has become much easier with the development of
technology
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.
This
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 allows users to use the systems effortlessly through well-designed user interfaces.
For instance
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, a room can be wiped and cleaned by a robot;
consequently
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, the room's owner can spend
time
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 on interesting activities
instead
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. In conclusion,
due to
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 improvements in
technology
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,
people
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 can integrate many useful tools into their lives conveniently. The ease of internet use and search engines lead
people
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 to find crucial
information
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 that positively affects their lives.
Moreover
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, adapting home automation systems unlocks individuals from doing boring tasks and
this
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 gives
people
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 more
time
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 to focus on more meaningful aspects.

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task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument to strengthen your essay. Discussing the drawbacks of advanced technology could enhance the overall discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your points are logically connected, particularly in the transitions between ideas. Using clearer linking phrases can help maintain the reader's understanding.
task achievement
To improve your examples, try to include a wider variety of sources or evidence to depict a more comprehensive argument related to technology's impact on life.
task achievement
Your essay presents strong arguments supporting the idea of simpler technology leading to better life experiences.
coherence and cohesion
You have successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your line of thought.
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