IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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More young
people
Use synonyms
 in some countries are choosing to sign up for practical training rather than studying at a University.
While
Linking Words
 the work-based training would provide the opportunity to get a
job
Use synonyms
 quickly, it would not guarantee a better career for employees and an increment in their salary in the future, which, in my opinion, far outweighs any possible disadvantage. On the one hand, several
people
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 choose to enrol in practical training with the purpose of earning
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 earlier after graduating from senior high school. They are directed by the training agents to align with the industries needed at that time.
However
Linking Words
, in the long term, they would be in a difficult situation if the demand for the
job
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's expertise changed and they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lost their time adapting to new industry requirements.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
people
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 decide to continue their education to attend college, they enhance their knowledge and enrich the networks for their future, not only for current conditions.
For instance
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, engineers with better degrees than others generally have a bigger chance of getting promotions because they have problem-solving skills in managerial cases from the University.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the promotion certainly would increase their salary and give a better life for them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 work-based training offers the chance to get a
job
Use synonyms
 faster, it is not a good option for
people
Use synonyms
 on a long journey, considering the career of employees and the increase in their salary in the future, which greatly outweighs any possible disadvantage of practical training.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main argument in the introduction more explicitly. Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines your position.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs—for example, 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the contrary.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims about work-based training versus university education; this enhances the strength of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You present a clear opinion and structure your essay with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The contrasting views between work-based training and university education are well-identified, allowing for a balanced discussion of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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