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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

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Nowadays, many young people leave their
parents
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' house when starting to study at university or getting a job. I believe there are significant benefits
for
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to
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 living alone when you become an adult with only one drawback.
To begin
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 with, leaving
parents
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 at a young age is advantageous
due to
Linking Words
 the opportunity of learning how to think and act independently. If individuals who reach 18 years old start to live separately from their
parents
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, they will face some lifestyle problems more quickly than those who continue to be with a family.
For example
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, living alone, many students experience various issues
such
Linking Words
 as getting documents or buying products with
economy
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the economy
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. The young can learn how to be responsible for their lives with the help of these challenges.
Furthermore
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, it is
freedom
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the freedom
a freedom
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 that young people receive after leaving their homes. Usually, those who continue to live with a family are reported to experience strong control from their
parents
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.
In contrast
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, individuals who live far from their mothers and fathers can have parties, small trips to
the
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apply
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other
city
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cities
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 with their friends or come back home at night. Most of them are likely to have more bright memories from their youth than young adults who do not leave their homes.
On the other hand
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, one major drawback is that
18 year old
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18-year-old
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 individuals can feel
homesickness
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homesick
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 and have poor health
due to
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the
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apply
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moral struggles. The young are often considered to miss their
parents
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 a lot as do their families.
Moreover
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, many young adults give up their dreams because they feel loneliness and no support in their new homes.
For instance
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, a huge number of international students return to their mothers and fathers because it is very hard to be alone in a foreign country and start anew.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 it is hard to adopt a new lifestyle and be far from your relatives, living alone gives a lot of opportunities for personal growth and memorable youth. So, I believe that
advantages
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the advantages
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 overweight
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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.

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task achievement
Expand on the drawbacks and give more detailed examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all your paragraphs develop a single main point clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linkers to increase the flow of ideas.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and effectively summarize your argument.
clarity
You express your ideas clearly, making it easy for readers to understand your perspective.
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