Traditional schooling is no longer necessary, since more information is accessible on the internet and students can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Traditional
education
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is no longer essential because a vast amount of information is easily discovered on the internet
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
allowing the students to achieve the same quality of
education
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by learning at
home
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.
This
Linking Words
essay totally agrees
about
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with
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the argument because
this
Linking Words
method helps the student to study with flexible time. Now technology in
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education
Add an article
the education
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sector helps learners to study based on their time.
This
Linking Words
way of learning gives
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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to anyone who works outside
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home
Add an article
the home
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but still
need
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needs
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to receive a proper
education
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from
institution
Correct article usage
an institution
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.
In
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For
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example, Coursera gives a various amount of subjects to learn with flexible time and gives
certificate
Add an article
a certificate
show examples
of completion. But some people disagree about studying at
home
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because
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
education
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system teaches morale and discipline
besides
Linking Words
delivering the knowledge.
This
Linking Words
view is still acceptable but
soft-skills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
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could be learned with local communities outside the school system. In summary, studying from
home
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far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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education
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system
due to
Linking Words
flexibility with the same quality
with
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as
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attending the class
in
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on
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campus.

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task achievement
Expand your arguments to fully explore the topic and provide more thorough explanations of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Consider adding specific examples or data to support your claims, which will strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion in your introduction, showing a strong stance on the issue.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of Coursera, illustrating the flexibility of online education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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