IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The number of cars keeps increasing, so road systems should be expended. Some people think the government should pay for it, while others think car owners should pay for it. What’s your opinion?

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These days, the figure of vehicles that transit in cities is increasing rapidly;
as a result
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, roads ought to be developed as the same as cars. To solve
this
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 obstacle a group of people think that the authorities have to invest the budget for them;
whereas
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, others believe that the population who has cars should pay money for them. In my personal view, both car owners and the governments have to expend rodas with each other owing to the fact that
this
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 development has a beneficial effect on the community lives. On the one hand, What important is that when the road systems are developed,
then
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 communities who commit to their workplaces, schools and so on are not stuck in traffic congestion. In fact, they provide an opportunity for inhabitants to have a work-life balance which is a consequence of not wasting not only money but
also
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 time sitting at stops.
For example
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, most of the people who live in old sections of urban areas, having narrow streets and alleys, have to spend a lot of time in traffic jams.
Therefore
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, individuals who have their own vehicles have to pay for a section of roads extensively.
On the other hand
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, governments have to create a situation in which the quality of citizens' lifestyles is enhanced, so they should upgrade the level of infrastructure,
such
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 as road systems. To illustrate, if the area has wide streets and good highways,
then
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 people do not need to sit at stops.
In other words
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, the amount of air pollution, a result of toxic gases that vehicles emit, and noise pollution are reduced;
consequently
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, it has a positive influence on urbanization lives.
To sum up
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, the budget for roads has to be paid by both car owners and authorities inasmuch as
this
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 change minimizes the wasting of time and money and solves the matter of air and noise pollution which impacts all citizens' life quality.

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coherence and cohesion
While your essay presents a clear opinion, make sure to restate it more explicitly in the introduction for stronger clarity. You might also want to ensure that each paragraph seamlessly connects back to your main argument.
task achievement
The examples you provided were relevant but could benefit from more elaboration. Try to include specific details that strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall richness of your writing, which can also help in achieving a higher score.
task achievement
You successfully introduced the main issue and provided a balanced view of the arguments from both sides, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points and reiterated your opinion clearly, which is a strength in your essay's overall structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • infrastructure
  • public good
  • taxpayers
  • financial burden
  • maintenance
  • expansion
  • toll roads
  • congestion charges
  • public-private partnerships
  • directly benefit
  • transportation systems
  • urban planning
  • environmental impact
  • traffic management
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