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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
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The graph illustrates how much each kind of fuel was used in the energy
production
Use synonyms
 service in the UK from 1981 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 a fluctuation was
obeserved
Correct your spelling
observed
 in the
production
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 of Petroleum, it had the highest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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production
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 in all given periods and remained
as
Change preposition
at
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 the top among other types of fuel.
While
Linking Words
 coal showed a similar trend of
being
Verb problem
apply
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fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
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, the
production
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level
Use synonyms
 of natural gas rose dramatically and eventually
overtaking
Wrong verb form
overtook
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those
Correct determiner usage
that
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 of Coal. Almost 100 million
tonnes
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 of Petroleum were used to produce energy in 1981,
then
Linking Words
 the number went up to around 140 million
tonnes
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 before dropping to about 100
tonnes
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 in the following periods.
However
Linking Words
, it returned to reach its peak at more than 140
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in the final year, making Petroleum the highest
production
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 across the given years. The
production
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level
Use synonyms
 of coal began at around 80
tonnes
Use synonyms
 before experiencing a noticeable decline to under 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and fluctuating till the end.
Conversely
Linking Words
, natural gas became more popular in
the
Correct article usage
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energy
production
Use synonyms
, starting at lower than 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1981 and
then
Linking Words
 skyrocketing significantly to approximately 100
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year, surpassing those of coal after 1991.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, level, tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • overall decline
  • depletion
  • shift in energy policies
  • global oil prices
  • extraction technology
  • cleaner energy sources
  • technological advancements
  • investment in nuclear energy
  • diversification
  • traditional fossil fuels
  • sustainable options
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