IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that using a bicycle as a main form of transportation has a lot of advantages whereas others think it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Over the past years, bicycles have gained growing popularity as a primary means of vehicles. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 trend offers more drawbacks than its benefits.
While
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 increasing
cyclers
Correct your spelling
cycles
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 can help protect the environment, they might find it difficult to commute to work and cause traffic problems. On the one hand, a prime disadvantage is that cycling is not quick and comfortable enough. Without engines or machines, bikes require humans to drive and balance
by
Change preposition
on
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 their own strengths. It is inevitable that people cannot speed up like when they drive motorbikes or cars, so they might not get to their destinations in time. If employees still manage to avoid late attendance, they will feel tired and underperform in
office
Correct article usage
the office
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.
This
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 results from resilient efforts in a long distance which is only suitable for those who do intense exercises in gyms or already get used to cycling.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people still argue that using only bikes can help preserve the Earth.
This
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 mode of transportation works without fossil fuels which can be converted to gasoline to run other vehicles and emit carbon dioxide
to
Change preposition
into
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 the air.
For instance
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, Holland motivates varied citizens to shift to cycling on streets and get
praises
Fix the agreement mistake
praise
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 around the world for a reduced level of carbon footprint and air pollution.
However
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,
this
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also
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 means that only private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 on roads
instead
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 of buses and other public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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.
Hence
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, the urban infrastructure cannot manage to host that large number of individuals and might even lead to traffic congestion. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the disadvantages of only cycling outweigh its advantages. Irrespective of helping lessen contamination, bikes might cause challenges to traffic participants and deny the importance of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.

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task achievement
Try to provide a broader range of points in each paragraph and ensure that each point is fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that connections between sentences and paragraphs are clear, using linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor spelling mistakes, such as 'conculsion.' Auto-correcting these will help enhance the overall impression of your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of cycling as a mode of transport.
task achievement
You have effectively included examples to illustrate the points made, particularly regarding environmental benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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