IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook and Twitter are widely used by young
people
Use synonyms
. Some argue that these platforms have a negative impact on their ability to form meaningful relationships,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that they help bring
people
Use synonyms
 together in a positive way. in
this
Linking Words
 essay
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will talk about the benefits of
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, critics believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 hampers young
people
Use synonyms
's social skills. Spending excessive time online can lead to reduced face-to-face communication, which is essential for building strong personal relationships. As
people
Use synonyms
 become more reliant on virtual interactions, they may struggle with real-life conversations and experience social anxiety. To continue with, social
media
Use synonyms
 is a great way to create relationships for
people
Use synonyms
 who lack confidence in real life. Online talking is much easier than in-person conversations.
For instance
Linking Words
, research, which was provided by the National Union proved that one-third of human beings suffered from introversion and struggled to converse with anyone outside the internet.
Hence
Linking Words
, these platforms can build up a user’s confidence, ameliorate their social skills and make them secure to embrace and create real-life bonds with the community. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the positive effect of social
media
Use synonyms
 is more than the negative because social
media
Use synonyms
 develops
people
Use synonyms
's communication skills and it is very important nowadays

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument, not just the aspect you will discuss. This helps the reader understand what to expect in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay and re-emphasizing your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of your grammar and spelling. For example, 'sosial' should be 'social' and 'in my opinion' should start with a capital 'I'. Careful proofreading can help you avoid these minor errors.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the statistic from the National Union, adds depth to your argument and supports your main points effectively.
task achievement
You provide a clear distinction between the arguments for and against the impacts of social media, which shows good critical thinking on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: