IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Australian household energy use water heating 30% heating 42% refrigeration 7% cooling 2% other appliances 15% lighting 4% Australian household greenhouse gas emissions heating 15% cooling 3% lighting 8% water heating 32% other appliances 28% refrigeration 14%

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Australian household energy use water heating 30% heating 42% refrigeration 7% cooling 2% other appliances 15% lighting 4% Australian household greenhouse gas emissions heating 15% cooling 3% lighting 8% water heating 32% other appliances 28% refrigeration 14%
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The first pie chart illustrates
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in Australian homes,
while
Linking Words
 the second one compares the greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 associated with the process. Both charts present data in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the majority of household
energy
Use synonyms
 was used for heating,
whereas
Linking Words
 water heating was the largest emitter of carbon, despite not consuming the most
energy
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, a closer look at the first chart reveals that 42% of
energy
Use synonyms
 was used for heating, which accounts for almost half of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 supply to homes. A significant portion of 30% was spent on water heating. In comparison, other appliances consumed about 15%,
while
Linking Words
 cooling and lighting accounted for less than 5% each. Turning to the second pie chart, which compares greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
, water heating emerged as the largest emitter, responsible for 32% of
emissions
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by other appliances, contributing 28% to the
overall
Linking Words
emissions
Use synonyms
. Despite its substantial
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption, heating only emitted 15% of the carbon dioxide.
Additionally
Linking Words
, cooling was the least significant emitter, releasing just 2% of the total
emissions
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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