IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that e-library are good another believe that traditional libraries are better

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As we all know, nowadays there are people who prefer
electron
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
 libraries
along with
Linking Words
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 the best choice is traditional ones. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will try to find the best. I will start by looking at the advantages of e-libraries. One of the major plus
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 is that
this
Linking Words
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of bibliotheca gives a chance people
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to read any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 from
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
show examples
 zone for themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
, e-books are much
quality
Correct word choice
higher quality
show examples
 than paper ones. Because paper
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 may tear or degrade in quality
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
 process.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 downside of the e-library is that the people how more read e-books, it
negativity
Replace the word
negatively
show examples
 affect their eyes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, traditional libraries
also
Linking Words
 have enough pros and cons. The biggest advantage of traditional bibliotheca is that you can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
communicate
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
book
Use synonyms
 readers and
consolidation
Replace the word
consolidate
show examples
 your knowledge and
this
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to develop skills that are important to you
such
Linking Words
 as communication and teamwork. The first drawback of
usual
Add an article
the usual
show examples
 reading place is that you cannot always go there
for example
Linking Words
 when
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
froze
Wrong verb form
freezes
show examples
 or very hot and
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 day off. Another major disadvantage is a
book
Use synonyms
 which you want to read may be read by another reader
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 you may have to
wait
Add the preposition
wait for
show examples
 it.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it might be said that there are
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of each bibliotheca. E-library
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 speed and comfort and traditional libraries
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 a chance to get
Add an article
a
show examples
clear feel for the
book
Use synonyms
. So everyone can choose
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their needs

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Language use
Ensure to consistently use correct terminology, for example, use 'e-libraries' instead of 'electron libraries' and 'bibliotheca' should be replaced with 'library'.
Content development
Expand your ideas further, especially your points on drawbacks and advantages of both e-libraries and traditional libraries. Providing more specific examples and arguments can strengthen your response.
Cohesion
Improve the transition between points for better coherence, use clear linking words to guide the reader through your arguments, e.g., ' however', 'in addition', or 'on the other hand'.
Language use
Consider revising sentence structures for clarity. Some sentences are a bit awkward and could be phrased more naturally. For example, 'this type of bibliotheca gives a chance people which to read any types of books' could be simplified to 'this type of library allows people to read any type of books'.
Content development
You provide a balanced view by discussing both e-libraries and traditional libraries, which is essential for a topic like this.
Coherence
Your essay has a clear structure with separate paragraphs for different points, allowing the reader to follow your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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