IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Psychologist have known for many years that color can affect how people feel for this reason attention should be given to color schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals how true is this statement? How far does color influence people's health and capacity for work?

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Color
Use synonyms
arguably
Add a missing verb
is arguably
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 one of the earliest things that we learn about. As we
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
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 up, we develop preferences for
Use synonyms
color
Change the spelling
colour
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, and these are shown in the declaration of our homes,the products we buy and the clothes we wear. As
Use synonyms
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 plays
such
Linking Words
 a huge role in our domestic lives, it is inevitable that it will
also
Linking Words
 affect how we feel outside of the home, particularly in places
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals and offices. As a matter of fact, businesses have been aware of the impact of
Use synonyms
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 on employees for some time. The general view has been that if you
work
Use synonyms
 in
office
Add an article
an office
show examples
 that has too many
Use synonyms
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 and patterns on the walls you will end up finding it hard to concentrate. Visitors may
also
Linking Words
 be too taken up with the
Use synonyms
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 around them to focus on what they are doing. Interestingly,
however
Linking Words
, there are some office areas that suit brighter
Use synonyms
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, people often say they can carry out their
work
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 better if the room is painted in both
colors
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 university in Thailand, the creative room was painted entirely in yellow to inspire its users to come up with exciting and novel ideas. Students commented that they felt more energized in
this
Linking Words
 type of environment.
While
Linking Words
work
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 is about output, hospitals are about the health of patients. Clearly, bright
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colors
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colours
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 would be less welcome
on
Change preposition
in
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 a hospital ward where patients are trying to recover from operations and illnesses. Here, relaxing shapes are needed,
such
Linking Words
 as pastels. Having said that, some hospital areas are the opposite. Unlike adults, children need some form of entertainment,
involves
Verb problem
which is
show examples
 painted
in
Change preposition
apply
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bright red and orange with pictures and posters
can achieve
Verb problem
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, doctors and nurses might welcome bright surroundings when they're taking a break from
work
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. As far as I am concerned, there is a direct link between
Use synonyms
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 and mood.
This
Linking Words
 means that designers should think about who will occupy a building and decorate its rooms in
such
Linking Words
 a way that the occupants are able to get the best out of their surroundings.

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What works well

2
Task Achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the case of the creative room in Thailand, enriches the essay and demonstrates the writer's ability to apply theoretical concepts in real-life scenarios.

Task Achievement

The discussion of different color effects in offices versus hospitals shows an understanding of the topic's complexity and provides a nuanced view.

Improvement Suggestions

4
Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction could be enhanced by restating the question and outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the main argument and provides a smooth transition between ideas.

Task Achievement

Some sentences are complex and might confuse the reader. Aim for clarity and simplicity in expressions to ensure your ideas are easily understood.

Task Achievement

While some examples are relevant, adding more specific examples could strengthen your argument and provide less ambiguity in your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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