everyone should stay in school untill the age of eighteen,considering the singnificance or primary and secondary level education in a learner's life, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
todays
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today's
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world everything
is depend
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depends
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on science and technology.In the time of
robot
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robots
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and
machiens
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machines
machine
, having knowledge of those things is very important. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will discuss
that
Correct word choice
whether
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studying in
the
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apply
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school
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until
a
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the
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age
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of 18 is
either
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apply
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important or not. And
importance
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the importance
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of middle
school
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and high
school
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.
This
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will
shows
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show
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that
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apply
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how
education
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is important
in
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to
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a group of
tenagers
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teenagers
. Studying in
school
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until teenage
age
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is important because
education
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help
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helps
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younger
people
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in many ways. It does not only help to gain
knowladge
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knowledge
about science and technology but
also
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it
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apply
show examples
helps to build several skills that
helps
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help
show examples
them to be a good person in life.
For instance
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,
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school
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the school
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teaches us time management,
consistancy
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consistency
in studying and dedication towards the work that
you
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we
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are
persuing
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pursuing
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in the future. Handling academic pressure is
also
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viable
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a viable
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reasen
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reason
reasons
that younger
people
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need to learn.
However
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, in many countries primary
level
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does not matter as much as
secondary
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the secondary
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level
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because in the lower
level
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Use synonyms
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of education
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education
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education,
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they don't learn any important lessons from
school
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. So secondary
level
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is not very impactful
in
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for
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a
students
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student
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. so I would argue that giving important knowledge from childhood is mandatory as in some countries like
in
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apply
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India they do.
However
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,
making
Verb problem
being
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specific in
age
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is not something that I agree with because knowledge
does
Verb problem
is
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not
measure
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measured
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by
age
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. Many
people
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can
be finished
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finish
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their studies before 18 and many
people
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who
started
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start
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their studies late because of childhood
they
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apply
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might not finish their
study
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studies
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at the
age
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of 18. In conclusion, secondary
education
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make
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makes
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
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difference in
the
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apply
show examples
life and it prepares us for our future.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating your opinion on the age requirement. Make sure to include a thesis statement that sums up your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas into clearer paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a single main idea with supporting sentences that relate directly to it.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and specific. For instance, you mention India but do not elaborate on how its education system relates to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and typos throughout your essay. Proofreading for spelling, punctuation, and grammar would strengthen your writing.
positive
You present a clear argument about the importance of education in building skills and personal development.
positive
The mention of handling academic pressure is a strong point that adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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