Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their work place at home, when traveling. Do the bed benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, technology provides an opportunity for global inhabitants to do their
work
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in various places,
such
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as workplaces, houses, transportation systems, and so on.
While
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working in various situations has some cons, I still believe that they cannot overshadow the pros. On the one hand, the drawbacks of mobility are so varied. when employees do their
work
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in various places like cafes, homes ,and so forth, their connection to the Internet might be lost and they lose their projects.
For example
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, programmers who write their codes based on the net when they lose the Internet connection, cannot run their program and their codes are not saved which is a bad situation when they have deadlines.
Additionally
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, noise pollution in some areas can impact the quality of
work
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owing to the fact that workers are not able to concentrate on their responsibilities very well.
On the other hand
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, telecommuting has a range of merits.
Firstly
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, the population whose job is remote has more
work
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-life balance inasmuch as they do not spend too much not only money but
also
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time sitting at the stop every day.
In addition
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, they can invest
this
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time in taking care of their children, doing household chores, and so on.
Secondly
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,
this
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method is eco-friendly because if people have remote occupations, they do not commute to
work
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. In fact, they do not use private or public transportation, which generates a number of toxic gases, to go to workplaces.
As a result
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, the carbon footprint becomes minimised. To summarise, Internet connection and decreased quality of some works are obstacles that mobility has.
However
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, it creates a chance for communities to balance their
work
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and life;
furthermore
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, it has a positive impact on the environment.
To conclude
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, the demerits of
this
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trend cannot eclipse the advantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer distinction between the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs. This will enhance the overall structure and clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of specific examples throughout your essay. This will help to support your points more effectively and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a balanced view on the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of telecommuting.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of linking words such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'to summarise', which helps in guiding the reader through your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • work-life balance
  • cost savings
  • office space
  • utilities
  • talent pool
  • geographical limitations
  • carbon emissions
  • traffic congestion
  • distractions
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