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Writing Samples
Band 5

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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In recent
Years
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years
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, there has been a tremendous
increase
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 in the number of
people
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 questioning the merits and demerits of the increasing number of
people
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 migrating from
one
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country
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 to another for various reasons.On
one
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 hand,
one
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 key benefit is that relocating to a different region gives better Job options.
However
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 , a significant drawback is that relocation causes a noticeable influx of immigrants.
To begin
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 , there is an argument to be made that moving to a different nation provides a better lifestyle.
For example
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 , a study done in 2020 showed that immigrants from
china
Capitalize word
China
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 had a 51%
increase
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 in salary and
25
Correct article usage
a 25
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%
increase
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 in satisfaction from the better living environment in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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.
For
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this
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 reason , it is evident that migration allows
people
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 to live beyond their means as well
supporting
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as supporting
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 their
families
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 financially and so improving their society as a whole.
Furthermore
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, by moving to different nations ,
families
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 can provide their children with better education and increased security with the
increase
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 in financial power.
This
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 being the case , it can assumed that with a clear
increase
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 in safety and
happiness
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happiness,
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 many more
people
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 would
chose
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choose
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 to migrate.
Nonetheless
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 , it must be stated that immigrants moving to different countries can cause overpopulation and depletion of resources.
For instance
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, a study done in 2023 showed that the natural minerals and resources of
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom decreased by 28% ever since they opened their borders to the world.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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while
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 there are clear opportunities for
families
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 looking for a better life , the society of the
country
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 being chosen takes a massive hit.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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immigrant
Correct article usage
the immigrant
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 influx , nationals start to become uneasy and at times aggressive as they see it as a sign of their
country
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 being overtaken. With
this
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 in mind ,
while
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 there is no doubt that relocation has its obvious benefits it must be made clear that not every relocator will have a safer and peaceful environment.
To conclude
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,
while
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 some may feel that migrating from
one
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country
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 to another has
it
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its
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 downsides and should be promptly stopped ,
other
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others
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such
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 as myself hold the view that it provides communities and
families
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 with a golden lifeline to succeed and achieve something greater.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main question and contains a single primary idea that is elaborated on. This will help improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This enhances credibility and shows that you have thoroughly researched the topic.
task achievement
Consider a more nuanced conclusion that acknowledges the complexity of migration, perhaps discussing potential solutions or compromises, rather than presenting a binary view.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of migration, providing a balanced view of the topic, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint and attempts to support it with relevant examples, demonstrating engagement with the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
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