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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that school studies are not useful and most important things are learnt outside the school. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples.

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Some people believe that
school
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 studies are not useful
,
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apply
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 and that the most important things are learned outside of
school
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. I partially disagree with
this
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 view.
While
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 it is true that valuable
life
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 lessons can be gained outside of
school
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, I believe that
school
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 education plays a crucial role in shaping a person's future and providing a foundation for lifelong learning.
First,
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school
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 studies provide essential knowledge in subjects like mathematics, science, and languages, which are the building blocks for many careers.
For example
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, a student who excels in mathematics and science can pursue a career in engineering, medicine, or technology, fields that require strong academic knowledge.
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School
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The school
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also
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 teaches critical thinking and problem-solving
skills
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, which are important in everyday
life
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 and in professional settings. Without a solid education, it would be difficult to compete in the modern job market.
However
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, it is true that important
life
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skills
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 are learned outside of
school
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 as well. These
skills
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,
such
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 as communication, teamwork, and time management, are often gained through experiences like extracurricular activities, part-time jobs, and social interactions.
For example
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, a student who participates in a sports team or volunteers at a charity organization may develop leadership and teamwork
skills
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 that are valuable in their future career. In conclusion, I believe that both
school
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 studies and
life
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 experiences outside of
school
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 are important.
School
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 provides the necessary academic foundation for future success,
while
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life
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 outside
school
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 offers the opportunity to develop practical
skills
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 and gain real-world experiences. Both are essential for personal and professional growth.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are thoroughly developed in each paragraph. You have good points, but adding more detail or examples could enhance clarity and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas together more smoothly. This will help in making your arguments flow better.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing your viewpoint and the main arguments.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced argument by acknowledging both sides of the topic, which demonstrates critical thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured learning
  • critical thinking
  • intellectual curiosity
  • interpersonal skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • practical knowledge
  • self-taught
  • informal learning
  • financial literacy
  • emotional intelligence
  • work experience
  • apprenticeships
  • theoretical knowledge
  • well-rounded education
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