Due to grow of obesity among children. Most of people started to seek determination of this problem. to what extend do you agree or disagree

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the rising

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apply

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prevalence of obesity among adolescents has led many to seek effective solutions to

this

Linking Words

issue. In contemporary society,

children

Use synonyms

increasingly consume fast food and sugary beverages

while

Linking Words

engaging in prolonged periods of sedentary activities,

such

Linking Words

as playing mobile games. These factors are the primary contributors to the growing obesity epidemic in

this

Linking Words

age group.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

children

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like to eat burgers, pizzas or drink fizzy drinks because of their delicious taste. Mainly parents allow if they keep under a control

children

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's diet juveniles never could suffer from detrimental. Snacks are harmful to their life activities after a few times later they understand the harm of street foods.

For instance

Linking Words

, based on medical associations in the USA conducted

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

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showing that,

people

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spent money on

McDonalds

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McDonald's

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Dominos

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Domino

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and other restaurants more than 8.5 billion dollars in America in 2025. The researchers recommend to the public that their ingredients are not as fresh as a homemade meal

therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

prefer to eat at home.

Moreover

Linking Words

, eating junk food every day will affect the weight and it will increase slowly.

Secondly

Linking Words

, In the modern world electronic devices are developing

thus

Linking Words

, our lives are altered in the mobile era. In the previous time,

children

Use synonyms

used to play in the street,

however

Linking Words

, today, it

Verb problem

has

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changed

children

Use synonyms

want to play excessively

playstation

Correct your spelling

PlayStation

or mobile games and they do not want to go outside or do exercise in the gym.

Instead

Linking Words

of wasting time on social media, they are capable of spending leisure time productive.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

Cambridge

university

Capitalize word

University

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professors, nowadays we observe how gadgets affect

people

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's lives. During

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

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10 years, using

from

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show examples

telephones

had

Wrong verb form

has

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accelerated 20 times,

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

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a result

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apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, society is facing

with

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apply

show examples

a sedentary lifestyle. In conclusion, there are lots of basic reasons that bring health problems to

people

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, consuming a lot of junk foods and energy drinks ,

as well as

Linking Words

, fewer

sport

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sports

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activities can lead to obesity among individuals.

i.nureddinnTue Mar 04 2025

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task achievement

Clarify the thesis statement to establish a clear position on the topic. For example, express whether you agree or disagree and to what extent directly in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow. Use linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

Expand on your examples with more detail or context, especially the research findings, to make them clearer and more persuasive.

task achievement

The essay identifies key factors contributing to childhood obesity, such as diet and sedentary lifestyle, which are relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Due to grow of obesity among children. Most of people started to seek determination of this problem. to what extend do you agree or disagree

Your opinion

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

In some part of the world, women are not allowed to vote. What is your opinion about this ?

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.