IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table bellow gives informationon consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002

The table bellow gives informationon consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002
The table illustrates
Correct your spelling
percentage
Correct article usage
the persentage
show examples
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of national
consumer
Use synonyms
 expenditure by category in
Ireland
Use synonyms
, Italy,
Spain
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Turkey
Correct word choice
and Turkey
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 in 2002 Generally speaking, food, drinks,
tobacco
Correct word choice
and tobacco
show examples
 showed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of customer spending in all
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure and education demonstrated the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in the table. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
Linking Words
consumer
Use synonyms
 spending on food,drinks and tobacco in
Turkey
Use synonyms
 showed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 (32.14%),followed by
Ireland
Use synonyms
 at 28.91%,
then
Linking Words
Spain
Use synonyms
 was 18.80%, at the
last
Linking Words
 Italy and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 (16.36%; 15.77%).
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 buyer spending on clothing and footwear
showed
Verb problem
was
show examples
 lower than
food
Change preposition
on food
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,drinks and tobacco.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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consumer
Use synonyms
 spending on clothing and footwear in Italy showed the highest
percentage
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by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 9.00%,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 showed the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5.40%.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
Turkey
Use synonyms
Spain
Use synonyms
Ireland
Use synonyms
 demonstrated similar levels
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 6.63%, 6.51%,
6.43
Correct word choice
and 6.43
show examples
%. It can be seen that
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
 and education categories showed the lowest level than others.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
 spending on leisure and education in
Turkey
Use synonyms
 demonstrated the greatest level (4.35%),
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 showed
Spain
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1.98%. But other countries(
Sweden
Use synonyms
,Italy,
Ireland
Use synonyms
) presented enough level by 3.22%, 3.20%, 2.21%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumer, ireland, spain, sweden, turkey, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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