IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, the issue of travelling has sparked considerable debate. Some individuals assert that longer flights are consuming more energy resources and we should avoid unnecessary
travel
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 rather than minimising the usage of cars. I firmly disagree with
this
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 viewpoint, and
this
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 essay will discuss the adverse effects of reducing flights on the global economy and the timing issues to support my perspective.
Firstly
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, a reduction in the number of
air
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travel
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 can have a detrimental impact on society.
This
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 is because aircraft not only serve as a means of transportation for people and goods but
also
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 enrich individuals with enthusiasm to explore the world, which ultimately leads to the growth of the economy.
Moreover
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, more cars on the roads are generating more toxic gases, which are becoming the cause of
air
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 pollution.
For instance
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, research showed that an aircraft is emitting less harmful gases compared to the modes of transportation for transferring between locations.
Secondly
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, lessening
air
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travel
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 will
also
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 impose challenges for various sectors
such
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 as health, education, tourism, business and trade, which are using
air
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travel
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 in the case of emergencies, to reach their destinations more quickly.
For instance
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, a good example of
this
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 scenario is the utilisation of
air
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travel
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 during the COVID pandemic, when people were transferred to the multispecialty hospitals, to save their lives.
In addition
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 to
this
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, with the assistance of
air
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travel
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, people are
also
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 able to attend multifarious vital meetings for the development of their business. In conclusion,
although
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air
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travel
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 is posing problems to the surroundings, I oppose
this
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 idea as no other means of transportation can beat the speed and
travel
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 time of an aeroplane.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and development of your main arguments, ensuring each point is distinctly explained and elaborated upon.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider incorporating transitional phrases between paragraphs to improve the flow and continuity of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, to help guide your reader.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear stance on the issue, outlining your disagreement with the idea of discouraging flights and supporting your view with specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • air pollution
  • sustainable future
  • carbon footprint
  • regulating
  • passenger transportation
  • virtual tourism
  • domestic economies
  • equitable climate policies
  • non-essential flights
  • tourism-related travel
  • environmental crisis
  • long-distance travel
  • pollution levels
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