IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we think we like them or not.

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Humans generally have a tendency toward meeting and socializing with new
people
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. Some subconscious assumptions are made promptly when we meet someone for the
first
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 time and whether we like them or not. I believe
this
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 assumption mostly yields negative and misleading results that may prevent bonds leading to potential improvement opportunities in career fields and
also
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 relationships.
First
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 and foremost, meeting new
people
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 and realizing the ones helpful for business co-operations
in
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is
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 essential.
hence
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 prompt decisions must not be made on liking
people
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 because it may prevent real helpful connections in future meetings .As the saying goes, "Tell me your network I will tell you your net worth", careers improve with meeting potential new
people
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.
Therefore
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 it is a bad thing to guess someone’s character and true potential in the
first
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 meeting very quickly.
In addition
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 to business fields, judging someone on the
first
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 date leads to misleading feelings that prevent healthy relationships that are bonding based on a true understanding of the characters. To illustrate better, a psychological study shows that the conception of love at
first
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 sight does not exist in a scientific scan of the brain,
actually
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actually,
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 an emotional bond requires
further
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 cognition of real matching between partners. In conclusion,
this
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 is an absolutely negative view to like or dislike someone based on
first
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 impressions. Business meetings are one area where each side needs to trust and recognize each other in the long run and emotional bonds
also
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 require effort and recognition to be built in a healthy manner.
Therefore
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 decisions must not be made based
first
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 viewpoint.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion but could benefit from a more persuasive thesis statement. Consider rephrasing it to highlight the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your topic sentences for each paragraph clearly relate back to your thesis statement. This will help your readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and elaborating on your points. For instance, you mention 'potential improvement opportunities'—it would strengthen your argument to explain how these opportunities manifest or to provide a specific example.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your argument but could reiterate the importance of your points more forcefully. It might be helpful to include a call to action or a reflection on the implications of first impressions.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear viewpoint regarding first impressions.
coherence and cohesion
The use of a quote adds depth to your argument and demonstrates good writing skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • first impression
  • initial judgment
  • stereotypes
  • assess
  • non-verbal cues
  • body language
  • appearance
  • facade
  • misjudgments
  • unfair judgments
  • decision-making process
  • social situation
  • character
  • repeated interactions
  • open-mindedness
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