IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving. - Discuss the arguments for and against keeping pets. - To what extent do you agree?

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In today's era, it's common things for many people to
keeping
Change the form of the verb
keep
show examples
 pets and they are
also
Linking Words
 paying
vital
Add an article
the vital
a vital
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money to take care of them,
while
Linking Words
 on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side many people in the world are facing many problems
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 food, housing and many more. I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 that many individuals like to have a pet but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am
also
Linking Words
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 disagree with
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 point that many people are struggling for basic
nessecities
Correct your spelling
necessities
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss both the points. In the first point, Many human beings love to have a pet and even they are spending too much money and time on them.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction can be clearer and more structured. Make sure to present a clear thesis statement that outlines your main argument.
Task Achievement
When discussing both sides, ensure that your points are balanced and that you provide specific examples, which can strengthen your argument. For instance, you could mention ways in which pets contribute to human happiness or mental health.
Grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typographical errors such as 'keeping' instead of 'to keep' and 'nessecities' instead of 'necessities'.
Task Achievement
The recognition of the contrast between pet care and global issues such as starvation shows a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have begun to structure your essay, which is essential for a coherent argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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