IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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Over the past few years,
communication
Use synonyms
 has changed between global inhabitants
due to
Linking Words
 technology.The impact of
this
Linking Words
 change
Add a missing verb
is bolds
show examples
bolds
Correct your spelling
bold
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 when we compare conventional relationships with the new ones.
needless
Capitalize word
Needless
show examples
 to say, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been advantages and disadvantages with the new
intraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
 but the
overall
Linking Words
 trend can be considered positive.
Firstly
Linking Words
,in the old days
communication
Use synonyms
 was mostly
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
,
however
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,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people interact with each other remotely nowadays.
While
Linking Words
,in
conventional
Add an article
the conventional
a conventional
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of
romantic
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a romantic
show examples
 relationship,individuals married with each other with very low data about their partners,nowadays with the help of technology they can
intract
Correct your spelling
interact
 with many people and gather more information about their future partner and choose more wisely based on those
datas
Correct your spelling
data
dates
.
Secondly
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,in
working
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the working
show examples
 area,
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
offfice
Correct your spelling
office
 has changed
relationship
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the relationship
show examples
 between bosses and their workers.Because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote working,the working aspect of life has become more machinery so the worker just does the task and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 the outcomes to the boss without any
further
Linking Words
intraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
infraction
. But in the old
way
Use synonyms
 of
working
Add a comma
working,
show examples
 there was a lot of socializing between workers and their boss so that even sharing leisure activities could happen between them.
Finally
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,the
cyber space
Correct your spelling
cyberspace
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 has come with negative and positive influences on our
way
Use synonyms
 of interaction.
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
 of the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of
communication
Use synonyms
 is
Correct article usage
a sedantry
show examples
sedantry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyle which leads to less
phisycal
Correct your spelling
physical
 activity. Evident is the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
The
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 you have
phisycal
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities the more you will have health diseases in your elderly
ages
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age
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.
Similarly
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, socializing and expressing
feeling
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feelings
show examples
 are good for mental health
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you can't have the
expressionenough
Correct your spelling
expression enough
 and
adequetly
Correct your spelling
adequately
 in
web
Correct article usage
a web
show examples
inviroment
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environment
 compared to
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 interactions.
However
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, the
favorable
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favourable
show examples
 impacts of how we communicate
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 technology are myriad.One of the most beneficial
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
 on
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
 area is that
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 people
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not have to deal with other individuals
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. because
psychologicaly
Correct your spelling
psychologically
 they tend to speak less and work more so the the home office is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 place for them.Finding a good partner needs time and plenty of choices which you can have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
through dating apps .So, anyone can now find the best partner who suits them best.
To conclude
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,the
way
Use synonyms
 of
communication
Use synonyms
 has been changed these years and
this
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phenomena
Change the determiner
phenomenon
show examples
 has come with many good and bad aspects.
Although
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, the positive impacts on
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 relationships in many
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
 are
imense
Correct your spelling
immense
 and the bad influences are very few and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 hope
tha
Correct your spelling
that
 we can fix them in the near future.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear progression of ideas to improve logical flow. For example, each paragraph should relate directly back to your main argument about the impact of technology on relationships.
task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by restating the question clearly and outlining your main points more explicitly. This helps set the context for the reader.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. Instead of general statements, provide concrete instances that reflect both positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships.
task achievement
You've addressed both positive and negative aspects of technology's impact on relationships, showing a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
You've made attempts to discuss various contexts, such as romantic and work relationships, indicating awareness of the essay's scope.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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