IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? knowledge or experience.

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There is an ongoing interest in national allocations for transportation systems. Many people argue that the government should allocate more funds to
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
. I strongly support
this
Linking Words
 notion and I will delineate my reasons, supported with relevant examples.
To begin
Linking Words
, one compelling reason why I believe that the state should invest more money in railway construction than
roads
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 is because
railways
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 promote environmental sustainability.
That is
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,
railways
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 are energy-efficient and they do not contribute to carbon emissions. By
this
Linking Words
, they are environment friendly. When a population imbibe the use of trains rather than road transport, there is reduced greenhouse gas emissions, countering the uprising threatening environmental issues of climate change.
For example
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, in Japan, a high-speed train called Shinkansen is widely used as an energy-efficient alternative to cars and
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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.
This
Linking Words
 has successfully reduced the carbon footprint of transportation in the country.
Furthermore
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,
although
Linking Words
 building
roads
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 can be faster and less costly as compared to
railways
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, I support the view of spending more funds on the construction and maintenance of
railways
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 as it will help solve the problem of traffic congestion, particularly in urban areas. To buttress
this
Linking Words
, the cities are becoming heavily populated, leading to a surge in traffic jams. It is gradually reaching a point of saturation and
this
Linking Words
 has been attributed to the high influx of people into the urban region. Trains,
however
Linking Words
, can commute millions of people at once, reducing the need for road transport.
This
Linking Words
 helps to curb the road challenge.
For instance
Linking Words
, a country with an efficient subway system like London, despite a recent influx of migrants has well-controlled traffic.
This
Linking Words
 is because of adequate train availability, reducing the uncontrolled need for cars. In conclusion, with the rise in the debate about the best means of transport in society, most residents opine that the government ought to spend more on
railways
Use synonyms
 than
roads
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. I support
this
Linking Words
 as the use of
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 is a determinant of environmental sustainability and will help reduce the issue of congestion.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your position in the thesis statement slightly more explicitly. For example, you could state 'I strongly agree' instead of just 'I strongly support this notion.'
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are clear, consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This can create smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
You might want to add more specific data or studies to support your points about traffic congestion and environmental sustainability. This would strengthen your argument and make your examples more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances readability and understanding.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the Shinkansen in Japan and the subway system in London, effectively supporting your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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