IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Natural resources, such as water, forest and oil, are being used at an excessive rate. What are the causes of this problem? What are the possible solution to address this issue?

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Introduction
Nature resources,
for example
Linking Words
 water, forest and oil are being depleted at an alarming rate
due to
Linking Words
 human activities.
This
Linking Words
overuseleads
Correct your spelling
overuse leads
 to environmental degradation, climate change and resource scarcity.
Body paragraph 1
One of the best
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
teach
Fix the infinitive
to teach
show examples
 children by teaching them to use appropriate.
Body paragraph 2
One of the principal reasons for
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
show examples
Change preposition
of naturalresources
show examples
naturalresources
Correct your spelling
natural resources
natural-resources
 is the Western lifestyle, which encourages high levels of consumption. People in developed
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
oftenuse
Correct your spelling
often use
 large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 for daily lives.
For example
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
things
Change preposition
of things
show examples
 which we use in daily life require
energy
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as; SUV cars which consume a lot of
Body paragraph 3
fuel, leading to high oil use.
Moreover
Linking Words
, smartphones, televisions and airconditioners,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
require excessive
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
. All
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 objects
Add a missing verb
are harmfulfor
show examples
harmfulfor
Correct your spelling
harmful for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.To tackle
Linking Words
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
 schools should teach kids and students about resource conservation.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Germany part of the
Body paragraph 4
school programs
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
 about
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and security of nature. Children learn essential topics like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 recycling,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 sides of overconsumption and which
Body paragraph 5
way it can damage
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way children can be aware
ofthis
Correct your spelling
of this
 situation
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age and can have knowledge.
Body paragraph 6
To sum up
Linking Words
, the overuse of natural resources is mainly caused
Body paragraph 7
by in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 lifestyle,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 consuming
energy
Use synonyms
 and other resources
fordaily
Correct your spelling
for daily
daily
 life.
However
Linking Words
, to prevent
this
Linking Words
 situation, education and awareness
Conclusion
programs can help understand the importance of conservation.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline the structure of the essay in the introduction. A brief overview of the causes and solutions would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more elaboration and specific examples, especially for the proposed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'overuse leads' instead of 'overuseleads'.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant and important issue, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Some good foundational points are established regarding the causes of resource depletion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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