IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph shows the average annual expenditure on cellphone and residential phone services

The graph shows the average annual expenditure on cellphone and residential phone services
The line chart compares and contrasts data on the changes in the expenses on
cell
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 over a 10-year
period
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the expenditure on
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 increased,
while
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 decreased throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. There was a $500 difference between expenditure on
cell
Use synonyms
 and residential
phones
Use synonyms
 and the highest spending
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 on
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 the difference was about $300 and the highest
spends
Replace the word
spending
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 on mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. The highest point of expenses on
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was about $750, at the same time on the residential at the beginning and was $700. In 2006,
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of money spent on
cell
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 equal and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about $520.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phone, services, period, phones with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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