IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people claim that the media has a negative influence on contemporar society. They think that there is very little tolerance for new ideas because of its impact. Agree or disagree?

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It has been frequently argued that in the current period, the
media
Use synonyms
 has a putting impact on contemporary society.
However
Linking Words
, there is a move persuasive argument that there is very little tolerance for new ideas because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 impact. It can help
people
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 communicate more
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
 and update the latest
new
Correct your spelling
news
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 and
information
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. In
this
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 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will elaborate on my perspective regarding the
important
Replace the word
importance
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 of
media
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 On the one hand, it is necessary to develop
media
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,
people
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 should recognize that
media
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
widen
Change the verb form
widens
show examples
my
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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 and enrich
mu
Correct your spelling
my
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know ledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
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. It
also
Linking Words
save
Change the verb form
saves
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 a lot of time for many
people
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. If there was no television,
people
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 had to get updated
information
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 through newspapers, but if the newspapers were delayed or had problems,
people
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 would not get the latest
information
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. On the one hand, it is essential to recognize
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 acknowledge the significant advantages associated with new ideas. A crucial consideration is that
media
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 to fuel
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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 of anxiety, depression and isolation make
people
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 close to you see the harmful effects of social networks. Which
nightlight
Correct your spelling
highlights
show examples
 that to exchange and share
information
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 thoughts, a ideas across virtual networks and Accepting friend requests without knowing the identity leads to loss of property.
For example
Linking Words
, it is noteworthy that the risk of data breaches
and
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apply
show examples
may occur to delete your social
media
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 account to prevent your data from getting compromised

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task achievement
The introduction could be more focused and clear. Consider restating the prompt more directly to set the tone for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of spelling and grammar, as these can affect clarity and comprehension. For example, 'my horizon' should be 'your horizon' in the context of the essay.
task achievement
You should provide more detailed examples to support your claims, as this would enhance the overall strength of your arguments.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative influences of media, which is a good approach for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's structure is generally clear, with distinct sections for different points of view and some logical progression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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