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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that natural ability is necessary to be successful at sports. Others believe that hardwork and practice is more important. Discuss both the sides and add your own opinion.

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Some folk think that talent is the most important thing for professional sportsmen.
While
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 others prosecute another point of view and suppose that hard
work
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 has a more essential role in
sport
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.
This
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 essay will support the first statement because
genetics
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 provide crucial abilities for different types of activities, even though athletes who
work
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 more have discipline, they still are restricted by nature. On the one hand, talented people have the necessary opportunities for development. Their health and bodies can improve faster, so in comparison with a regular person they will take more advantages from the same training system.
In addition
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, they achieve more results than their peers and always outweigh others in competitions.
For example
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, the
sport
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 of bodybuilding requires almost ideal
genetics
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 to win because the
sport
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 includes that your lifestyle should be as effective to sprout muscles,
as a consequence
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 only a small amount of people can compete in it, and only a few of them have a chance to become a champion.
On the other hand
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, people who do more than their talented peers can lose them easily because they have no
such
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 length, power, or
genetics
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 which is the main thing in a huge
sport
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, even though they will
work
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 with doctors or eat special food and have the perfect lifestyle.
For instance
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, in basketball, height is one of the most critical features. Notably, 70% of NBA's players have a height of 1,90m+ which gives them preferences in a game. In conclusion, natural abilities can boost sportsmen better than discipline or hard
work
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 because it gives them special
genetics
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 that can outrun any discipline.

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task achievement
To further strengthen your task achievement, consider adding more balanced arguments for each side. This can show depth in understanding and provide a more comprehensive view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to use clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and effectively incorporates specific examples to support your arguments. This enhances your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
There is a well-structured introduction and conclusion in your essay, which helps provide a solid framework for your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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