IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is believed that every person has at least a few serious events, which are changed something in their lives.

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It is believed that every person has at least a few serious events, which are changed something in their lives. My life is
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 exception, so in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my
Change the word
the
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 significant changes over the past 3 years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I was
leaving
Verb problem
living
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 in Almaty
from
Change preposition
in
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 5th grade and
on
Change preposition
in
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 10th grade I moved
in
Change preposition
to
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 Astana
last
Linking Words
 summer. It was not simple to leave your beloved city, especially for our family. All of us are missing the breathtaking view
on
Change preposition
of
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 stunning mountains, but there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moving. The new place made me realise how little time I had left to prepare for admission. I started intensive training for my exams, and now have
a pretty good results
Correct the article-noun agreement
pretty good results
a pretty good result
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has given me a great chance of different
experiencing
Replace the word
experiences
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 in
other city
Change the wording
another city
other cities
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. Turn to my second important change in
life
Correct pronoun usage
my life
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 is volunteering. I had never joined volunteering
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 before my moving
in
Change preposition
to
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 the capital of
country
Add an article
the country
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. Astana has multiple ranges of volunteering organisations for teenagers, which
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 a lot of advantages
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 grateful letters, certificates and even special
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. I have participated
many
Change preposition
in many
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 various events from marathons to international forums.
As a result
Linking Words
, I was given a great opportunity to raise my
communicating
Replace the word
communication
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 skills, meet new friends with similar ambitions and even find my career way. In conclusion,I am grateful for all
things
Correct article usage
the things
show examples
 that happened to me
last
Linking Words
 3 years and I hope to reach
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new goals in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3 years. I believe that If I had not moved to Astana
last
Linking Words
 summer, I would not be
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I am now. 

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the clarity of your ideas by linking them more effectively with connecting words or phrases. For instance, when introducing your points, consider using more transitional phrases that explicitly show the relationship between your ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. Instead of saying ‘in this essay I will discuss about my significant changes’, consider revising it to something like ‘this essay will discuss the significant changes I have experienced over the past three years.’ This makes your intention clearer.
task achievement
Be careful with your word choices and grammar; phrases like 'which are changed something' should be corrected to 'which have changed something.' This demonstrates a better grasp of language structure and prevents confusion.
task achievement
You provide personal anecdotes that effectively illustrate the changes in your life, which adds a relatable aspect to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is crucial for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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