IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

university should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every subject. At what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
same
Change the article
a same
the same
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 number of male and female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 must be accepted in place of graduation for each academic subject.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally disagrees with
this
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 statement. I believe that welcoming in every subject both genders equally in order to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender
Use synonyms
 equality can have a detrimental impact on the fairness with capable
students
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the acadmic
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acadmic
Correct your spelling
academic
 reputation of the educational sector. Primarily, giving admission
in
Change preposition
to
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educational
Add an article
the educational
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 sector for sexual equality purposes can worsen significantly the ability of passionate
candidates
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. Aspiring to acquire
equalent
Correct your spelling
equal
 men and ladies, lots of deserving
Use synonyms
candidates
Change noun form
candidates'
candidate's
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 compassion must be destroyed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,it may cause other catastrophic issues
such
Linking Words
 as loss of capability at
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
 after the studies,by rejecting pupils
due to
Linking Words
 limited
seets
Correct your spelling
seats
in
Correct article usage
a perticular
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perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 subject. To make it more clear, some subjects are more likely interesting
accoording
Correct your spelling
according
 to
gender
Use synonyms
 like
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
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 a gynaecologist , more
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 are willing to
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
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 medical courses regarding female body structure as compared to
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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.
For example
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,provided
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 by UFV
university
Capitalize word
University
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shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 that enrolling
gender
Use synonyms
 equally, 50% proficient
students
Use synonyms
 need to be neglected by fixing
amoount
Correct your spelling
a amount
 of seets for
Correct article usage
a perticular
show examples
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
gender
Use synonyms
. Having equal
gender
Use synonyms
 across all the subjects,
candidates
Use synonyms
 can grow their dependency on subjects that have available
seets
Correct your spelling
seats
sheets
 as per their
gender
Use synonyms
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of working hard to acquire a valuable seat. Not only does the unfair treatment for praiseworthy learners, but it
also
Linking Words
 may lead to degrading the reflection of university academic performance and potential ,
instead
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 of focusing hard on studies ,
students
Use synonyms
 gradually rush to find
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
seet
Correct your spelling
seat
.
For instance
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 , non-deserving
candidates
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 on the behalf of
gender
Use synonyms
 can obtain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enrollment but they are not dedicated towards the topic by
wholeheartly
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
 and
cousing
Correct your spelling
causing
 the effectiveness of
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
 sector. In conclusion, though the demand for
gender
Use synonyms
 equality is growing , it must not be the reason
to
Change preposition
for
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enrollment
Replace the word
enrolling
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 in university
coourse
Correct your spelling
course
courses
, as
thoos
Correct your spelling
these
 can
bbecome
Correct your spelling
become
 a disaster
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 talent within
students
Use synonyms
 and
reputation
Correct article usage
the reputation
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 of
study
Add an article
the study
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centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
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.
However
Linking Words
,only deserving
students
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 based on the
marit
Correct your spelling
market
 requirements, must be enrolled.

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task achievement
Consider clearly outlining your main arguments in the introduction. A thesis statement that directly indicates your position would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use appropriate transitions between your points to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help in logically linking your paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammatical errors throughout your essay, as these can distract the reader from your arguments. For example, 'equivalent' instead of 'equalent,' and 'seats' instead of 'seets.'
task achievement
You present a clear stance against gender quotas in university admissions, which is a good start for task response.
task achievement
You provide relevant points and examples to support your argument, such as discussing the impact on capable candidates and academic reputation.
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